Teh One Who Knocks
08-07-2019, 12:38 PM
By Mark Hodge - The Sun
https://i.imgur.com/bGoCZPx.jpg
PARENTS of two transgender children who were aged five and eight when they transitioned insist their kids are happier than ever.
James, 11, and his little sister Olivia, 7, live with their supportive parents, Ben and Sara Kaplan, in Berkeley, California, US.
The family say they are sharing their story with the hope of normalising the narrative surrounding trans children - in a country where only 0.3 percent of adults are transgender, according to a 2011 study.
Mum Sara said: “The reaction when people hear that we have two trans kids is shock and awe.
“A lot of people think that it must be a copycat situation where the younger one is just mimicking the older one.”
James was eight-years-old when he told his parents he wanted to transition from female to male – he was in second grade.
Olivia was four when she said she was transgender – but didn’t begin socially transitioning and using female pronouns until she was five and entering kindergarten.
In reference to Olivia’s transition, Sara said: “It was less shocking because we had just had a child transition – we had educated ourselves about gender.”
When James was eight, he began socially transitioning.
He had his hair cut shorter, shopped for boy’s clothes and asked his peers to use male pronouns.
Last year, he changed his name legally.
“I have always been a boy,” James said. “Before I transitioned, I had a piece missing and it didn’t feel right.
“I was nervous to tell my parents, but when I did, they said they accepted me. I was happy because I know a lot of trans kids don’t have that, and that’s sad.”
https://i.imgur.com/5iSZLZk.jpg
Olivia added: “Being trans means you were born in the gender that you don’t feel in your heart – anyone can be whoever they want to be, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion is.”
When Olivia told James about her transition, he was very proud of how brave she had been.
However, like with most siblings, he admits there was the usual competitiveness.
“I reacted to Olivia transitioning like most older siblings would – even though I’m trans,” James explained. “I was a little confused at first and got a little defensive because I thought it was my thing.
“But after like a day of that, I saw that Olivia is a girl and she always will be.”
A month ago, James started hormone blockers – an implant which prevents him beginning puberty including his menstruation cycle and breast development.
When discussing the decision, James said: “I’m a guy, and if any other guy thought about being a woman, that’s uncomfortable.”
James is now waiting to begin testosterone, which would be the first permanent action he takes towards transitioning as the process would affect his fertility.
However, Olivia is too young to have any medical treatment for her transition yet.
Sara explained: “We have lots of time as she’s only seven – the first thing would be a hormone blocker and that’s not until she would hit the tanner stage two of puberty, so for now, we follow her lead.
Ben and Sara want to educate those who accuse them of imposing an agenda on their kids.
“The reason that we chose to be public at this point is because having two transgender children is not that unique, but it’s very difficult to advocate for the second child without it looking like there’s a problem in the house,” Sara explained.
“It looks like there is an agenda,” she said. “Like the mother is sick, and that’s not the case here.”
Ben added: “It tends to fall on the mother, and I get feedback that I’m just complicit and just sitting here watching, which is untrue - I am a faithful father, and I love my children dearly.”
Naturally, there were times where the process wasn’t easy.
“There was a grieving process for me when they transitioned, and it wasn’t because I didn’t love them anymore. It had to do with my own misunderstandings and my own biases. It had to do with navigating a world that I knew nothing about,” Ben said.
https://i.imgur.com/TGHiqEq.jpg
The parents, through learning and teaching others, are determined that their children live without stigma.
Ben said: “We are on the right side of history and we are not going to allow our kids to feel shame or fear based on other people – they deserve to feel loved and accepted.”
“We are going about this because we are listening to our children and because are doing a lot of research, which has proven we are doing the right thing.”
The alarming statistics of suicide amongst trans children whose families are not supportive terrified the couple.
They knew the only thing their children should feel from them is love and acceptance.
Sara and Ben check in with their children often, to see if they are happy and confident in the gender they are in, to rule out any kind of wavering.
“We will love and accept them if they come to us tomorrow and say they’ve changed their mind,” Sara said. “And we will love and accept them if they don’t.”
It is this familial environment that has enabled James and Olivia to feel confident with who they are and the decisions they make regarding their identity.
For James, being trans is one of the least extraordinary things about them: “Being trans is just a little part of me – there’s so much more to me than being trans.”
“I would say we are not different,” Olivia continued. “We shouldn’t be treated better or worse.”
https://i.imgur.com/bGoCZPx.jpg
PARENTS of two transgender children who were aged five and eight when they transitioned insist their kids are happier than ever.
James, 11, and his little sister Olivia, 7, live with their supportive parents, Ben and Sara Kaplan, in Berkeley, California, US.
The family say they are sharing their story with the hope of normalising the narrative surrounding trans children - in a country where only 0.3 percent of adults are transgender, according to a 2011 study.
Mum Sara said: “The reaction when people hear that we have two trans kids is shock and awe.
“A lot of people think that it must be a copycat situation where the younger one is just mimicking the older one.”
James was eight-years-old when he told his parents he wanted to transition from female to male – he was in second grade.
Olivia was four when she said she was transgender – but didn’t begin socially transitioning and using female pronouns until she was five and entering kindergarten.
In reference to Olivia’s transition, Sara said: “It was less shocking because we had just had a child transition – we had educated ourselves about gender.”
When James was eight, he began socially transitioning.
He had his hair cut shorter, shopped for boy’s clothes and asked his peers to use male pronouns.
Last year, he changed his name legally.
“I have always been a boy,” James said. “Before I transitioned, I had a piece missing and it didn’t feel right.
“I was nervous to tell my parents, but when I did, they said they accepted me. I was happy because I know a lot of trans kids don’t have that, and that’s sad.”
https://i.imgur.com/5iSZLZk.jpg
Olivia added: “Being trans means you were born in the gender that you don’t feel in your heart – anyone can be whoever they want to be, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion is.”
When Olivia told James about her transition, he was very proud of how brave she had been.
However, like with most siblings, he admits there was the usual competitiveness.
“I reacted to Olivia transitioning like most older siblings would – even though I’m trans,” James explained. “I was a little confused at first and got a little defensive because I thought it was my thing.
“But after like a day of that, I saw that Olivia is a girl and she always will be.”
A month ago, James started hormone blockers – an implant which prevents him beginning puberty including his menstruation cycle and breast development.
When discussing the decision, James said: “I’m a guy, and if any other guy thought about being a woman, that’s uncomfortable.”
James is now waiting to begin testosterone, which would be the first permanent action he takes towards transitioning as the process would affect his fertility.
However, Olivia is too young to have any medical treatment for her transition yet.
Sara explained: “We have lots of time as she’s only seven – the first thing would be a hormone blocker and that’s not until she would hit the tanner stage two of puberty, so for now, we follow her lead.
Ben and Sara want to educate those who accuse them of imposing an agenda on their kids.
“The reason that we chose to be public at this point is because having two transgender children is not that unique, but it’s very difficult to advocate for the second child without it looking like there’s a problem in the house,” Sara explained.
“It looks like there is an agenda,” she said. “Like the mother is sick, and that’s not the case here.”
Ben added: “It tends to fall on the mother, and I get feedback that I’m just complicit and just sitting here watching, which is untrue - I am a faithful father, and I love my children dearly.”
Naturally, there were times where the process wasn’t easy.
“There was a grieving process for me when they transitioned, and it wasn’t because I didn’t love them anymore. It had to do with my own misunderstandings and my own biases. It had to do with navigating a world that I knew nothing about,” Ben said.
https://i.imgur.com/TGHiqEq.jpg
The parents, through learning and teaching others, are determined that their children live without stigma.
Ben said: “We are on the right side of history and we are not going to allow our kids to feel shame or fear based on other people – they deserve to feel loved and accepted.”
“We are going about this because we are listening to our children and because are doing a lot of research, which has proven we are doing the right thing.”
The alarming statistics of suicide amongst trans children whose families are not supportive terrified the couple.
They knew the only thing their children should feel from them is love and acceptance.
Sara and Ben check in with their children often, to see if they are happy and confident in the gender they are in, to rule out any kind of wavering.
“We will love and accept them if they come to us tomorrow and say they’ve changed their mind,” Sara said. “And we will love and accept them if they don’t.”
It is this familial environment that has enabled James and Olivia to feel confident with who they are and the decisions they make regarding their identity.
For James, being trans is one of the least extraordinary things about them: “Being trans is just a little part of me – there’s so much more to me than being trans.”
“I would say we are not different,” Olivia continued. “We shouldn’t be treated better or worse.”