Fart if you're happy thread

[lost in melb.]

A safe space to let rip

:fart3:

[Goofy]

I'll fart where and when i want to thank you very much [-(









:fart2:

[Hal-9000]

Guess I won't be farting very much :(

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Guess I won't be farting very much :(

I can send you some personal pix I took that could cheer you up :shifty:

[Hal-9000]

I can send you some personal pix I took that could cheer you up :shifty:

When you get back to speaking English, we'll talk.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

:-s

[Hal-9000]

:-s

You tool chear! :x

[Teh One Who Knocks]

You tool chear! :x

:snapout:

[Hal-9000]

No hitting :hand:

This is a safe space to fart.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

No hitting :hand:

This is a safe space to fart.

Are you farting? :-s

[Hal-9000]

Are you farting? :-s

No, I did that last week.

You?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

No, I did that last week.

You?

:snapout:

[Hal-9000]

If you keep hitting me I'm not happy.

If I'm not happy, no farting.

(hxme)NH

NH=nopoof

find x

[Teh One Who Knocks]

:nuts:

[Hal-9000]

:face:

I like farting in envelopes and then mailing them to my mayor.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

:face:

I like farting in envelopes and then mailing them to my mayor.

Isn't your mayor a PoC? :-s



HATE CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!! :freakout:

[Hal-9000]

Isn't your mayor a PoC? :-s



HATE CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!! :freakout:

Yes, my mayor is a POS :tup:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Yes, my mayor is a POS :tup:

:racist:

[Hal-9000]

You've heard me talk about our city economy being in bad shape for the past few years. He literally doubled small business taxes which forced owners to go bankrupt and then tagged the missing business taxes onto residential owners this year as well.

Then...he puts in a bid for the next winter Olympics, which will increase residential taxes by an estimated additional 3000 per house, per year (I pay 3800) and the city votes no.

Then...he decided to build a new hockey arena and knock down the Saddledome rather than renovate, another hit to taxpayers after a city wide vote said no.


I would fart on his head given the chance. I've never seen someone combat an economic crisis by ensuring people get close to needing welfare due to his actions.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

You've heard me talk about our city economy being in bad shape for the past few years. He literally doubled small business taxes which forced owners to go bankrupt and then tagged the missing business taxes onto residential owners this year as well.

Then...he puts in a bid for the next winter Olympics, which will increase residential taxes by an estimated additional 3000 per house, per year (I pay 3800) and the city votes no.

Then...he decided to build a new hockey arena and knock down the Saddledome rather than renovate, another hit to taxpayers after a city wide vote said no.


I would fart on his head given the chance. I've never seen someone combat an economic crisis by ensuring people get close to needing welfare due to his actions.

Why do you hate PoC? :-s

[Hal-9000]

Why do you hate PoC? :-s

:-k

I mainly only hate them if they're female.



*for these last few posts can you abbreviate my username to something similar like RBP or DGX or Muddy?


thxs :tup:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

https://i.imgur.com/7dNqk5T.png

[Hal-9000]

I guess most of you married chaps have heard a woman fart a number of times.

But have you ever heard them let a really good fart go in public?

In high school there was an awesomely hot girl and we'll call her Nancy, because that was her name.

She dropped something in class, bent way over without getting out of her desk to get it and let out this monstrous ripper, at least 5 seconds and 3 octaves.

The teacher put his head down, stopped talking because of the laughter and her face turned so red I thought she was going to explode. After she exploded :rofl:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

But did it stink, that's the question :-k

[Hal-9000]

Admittedly...I sniffed.

She was apparently quite happy :lol:

[DemonGeminiX]

:-k

I mainly only hate them if they're female.

*for these last few posts can you abbreviate my username to something similar like RBP or DGX or Muddy?

thxs :tup:

:-s

[Hal-9000]

Sometimes in public like at the Walmart check out, I fart and press my butt cheeks together then pull them apart. It's like an ass trombone :)

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Sometimes in public like at the Walmart check out, I fart and press my butt cheeks together then pull them apart. It's like an ass trombone :)

Can you vary the pitch? :-k

[Hal-9000]

Can you vary the pitch? :-k

Duh, what do you think I was just talking about?

I hate it when the reed gets stuck though :oops:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Duh, what do you think I was just talking about?

I hate it when the reed gets stuck though :oops:

It could sound more like a tuba :hand:

[Hal-9000]

I guess trombones don't use reeds, only mouthpieces. No wonder I get so sore :doh:

[Hal-9000]

It could sound more like a tuba :hand:

On a more serious note...

Have you ever been in public/work and tried to sneak one out and the result sounds like you sat on a tiny midget's face and they're struggling to breathe?

:lol: I have

[Teh One Who Knocks]

On a more serious note...

Have you ever been in public/work and tried to sneak one out and the result sounds like you sat on a tiny midget's face and they're struggling to breathe?

:lol: I have

:rofl:

[Hal-9000]

I let out a pretty high pitched squeaker like when you stretch the opening of a full balloon and my sister says - Oh that's right, you haven't been to prison.

Me :shock: :rofl:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Damn :lol:

[Hal-9000]

Both my sister and my Mom are legends in that department. I wish I could fart with that much vigor :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

:tmi:

[Hal-9000]

Seriously. We'll be having a conversation and I have to wait at times, then resume talking :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Canadians :shakehead:

[Hal-9000]

A guy I used to work with ate really badly. Hostess cupcakes for breakfast and take out food all the time for lunch and dinner. Never a home cooked anything.

The odd day at work he'd release this Polynesian Death Gas and people would choke and make comments about it...and he'd get upset :lol:

When a 60 yr old East Indian man who eats curry 24/7 complains about your farts, you got a problem pal.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

:lol:

That's why I'm glad I'm alone in the office about 60% of the time :lol:

[Hal-9000]

I hate when you slip one out...and the smell lingers for much too long :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I hate when you slip one out...and the smell lingers for much too long :lol:

Then you just need to vacate before someone can pin it on you :spy:

[Hal-9000]

I was always a stealth farter. Girl I was seeing let a bad one go in my car one night and apologized while giggling.

It seriously changed the relationship. I thought she was less sexy from that moment forward :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Girls don't fart or poop :hand:

[Hal-9000]

Not if they want to date me :lol:



Single for life - 9000

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Not if they want to date me :lol:



Single for life - 9000

Tinder :tup:

[Hal-9000]

No farters

bet that would go over well :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Do it!

[Hal-9000]

I don't have data on my phone and certainly don't use dating apps :lol:

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I don't have data on my phone and certainly don't use dating apps :lol:

You don't need data as long as you use WiFi :nono:

[Hal-9000]

You don't need data as long as you use WiFi :nono:

True, but no need to taint the phone at this point. It's an earPhone...used to talk with people! :)

[Teh One Who Knocks]

True, but no need to taint the phone at this point. It's an earPhone...used to talk with people! :)

:snapout:

[Pony]

Girls don't fart or poop :hand:

It's ALWAYS the dogs fault.

[lost in melb.]

:bored:


a little one before bed :fart2:

[lost in melb.]

https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/4QFm_BT8GgCvEuBl0PxYfPBHlSs=/768x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc() :format(webp)/165720348-56a12f6c3df78cf772683b39.jpg

[lost in melb.]

https://03varvara.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/richard-newton-treason-that-is-treason-johnny-1798.jpg

[lost in melb.]

:fart2:

[DemonGeminiX]

[-(

You're contributing to the greenhouse gases that are causing global warming.

[lost in melb.]

[-(

You're contributing to the greenhouse gases that are causing global warming.

methane is the worst greenhouse gas of all. I skillfully converted it into 'mere' carbon dioxide :tup:

[DemonGeminiX]

methane is the worst greenhouse gas of all. I skillfully converted it into 'mere' carbon dioxide :tup:

[-(

I don't believe you.