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Teh One Who Knocks
03-14-2022, 01:04 PM
The Smoking Gun


https://i.imgur.com/m8XNgze.jpg

MARCH 11--Concerned that the meth he had purchased was actually bath salts, a Florida Man yesterday asked police to test his stash, a request that resulted in his arrest on multiple drug charges.

According to investigators, Thomas Colucci, 41, dialed 911 last night and requested that a sheriff’s deputy be dispatched to his residence in Spring Hill, a Tampa suburb. Colucci explained that he needed someone to “test the methamphetamine” he had just bought.

When deputies met with Colucci, seen above, he explained that he purchased the meth from a man at a local bar. But after using some of the drug, Colucci became concerned that the substance was bath salts, the synthetic stimulant.

Cops say Colucci described himself as an experienced drug user who “knew what it should feel like” upon ingesting meth. So he allegedly provided deputies with two small baggies containing a crystalline substance, expecting that the contents would be tested by law enforcement.

Colucci said he did not want other consumers to purchase “fake” meth from the dealer, whose name and contact information he did not possess. Colucci wanted deputies to “put the person in trouble” for peddling the narcotics.

A field test of the material provided by Colucci showed that it contained meth, according to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. As a result, Colucci was arrested on a felony drug possession charge and a pair of misdemeanor drug paraphernalia counts.

Colucci was released from the county jail at 5:30 PM today after posting $7000 bond.

Colucci was convicted in 2019 of drunkenly slamming his SUV into another vehicle near his Spring Hill residence. Cops charged that as Colucci sped away from the accident scene, he struck a pickup truck that was getting gas. The driver, who was outside the vehicle, was knocked to the ground, while her passenger was transported to the hospital by ambulance for treatment of neck and back injuries.

When confronted by cops, Colucci--whose blood alcohol content was measured at twice the legal limit--said, “Look, I’ve been drinking. I don’t know what you want from me.”

Colucci pleaded no contest to DUI and leaving the scene of an accident counts. He was sentenced to a year’s probation and ordered to undergo outpatient substance abuse treatment.

lost in melb.
03-14-2022, 02:30 PM
How is it possible to be such a moron?

PorkChopSandwiches
03-14-2022, 04:17 PM
Because it was actually meth, so it sounded like a good plan

Pony
03-15-2022, 12:04 AM
How is it possible to be such a moron?

"a Florida Man"

lost in melb.
03-15-2022, 12:31 AM
:dumbfounded:

deebakes
03-16-2022, 01:13 AM
i read it first as testing his math :rofl: