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JoeyB
08-05-2011, 07:49 AM
Terms & Conditions

1: Members must be 18 or older, the exception of course is women who have no member.
2: This board is private and English is to be used as the main language, though everyone is required to be fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Portuguese, Esperanza, and Klingon. There will be an examination.
3: There is no rule number three.
D. There is however a rule 'D', and this is it.
4: No rape videos/photos or anything that is sick/gore/illegal. This includes rape fantasy content as well as disgusting or iggy photos intended for nothing more than shock value. Repeated abuse of this will cause you to be infracted and possibly banned, or be given to deebakes as a playtoy. Repeated self abuse may lead to multiple orgasms.
5: No illegal porn including, but not limited to, beastiality and scat videos and/or photos, but audiotape of such content is allowed, as long as it is high fidelity and in stereo.
6: Do not attempt to post fishing links or you will be banned. There will be no second chance, so you anglers better watch your asses!
7: Do not spam in any section of this forum or you risk being banned. It's only a risk though, so why not take a chance?
8: Personal attacks on others will not be tolerated. We take politeness very seriously you stupid motherfuckers.
You are welcome to challenge others points of view and opinions, but do so respectively and thoughtfully. One suggestion is to wear a tuxedo and speak with an English accent while making your rebuttal.
Users caught flaming other users will have their accounts locked or possibly banned, unless you use actual flames in which case the fire department will be notified.
If you have a problem with another member or member of staff, then you are probably normal. Avoid the freaks who like everyone!
9: No requesting, through PM's or otherwise**, to other members for content that is deemed 'not allowed' by this board.
**=such as use of psychic powers, sending of a Western Union telegram, writing on the bathroom wall above the gloryhole, fax, snail mail, actual snails, smoke signals, billboards, posting of bills, Bill Cosby, town crier, suggestive tattoos, telephone, megaphone, vibraphone, or any other method we forgot to mention. The lone exception is morse code, because none of the mods understand it, so how will they ever know?
10: Only one account per person. Members found with multiple accounts will be infracted all the way up to being banned. Is it just me or does 'being infracted' sound suggestive and dirty? I'd like to infract a few of the members.

Code of Conduct, please use the translation key to decipher the code.

Please maintain respect to all individuals on the board at all times. As we are a community, there are a wide range of opinions, experiences, backgrounds, religions and ages, except Jews of course. It is your responsibility to read and follow these rules for everyone's enjoyment, though why your reading these rules would be enjoyable to anyone else is sort of a mystery.

1: No Flaming, all homosexuality must be subdued.
2: No Harassment of any member unless she has HUGE knockers.
3: No Insults period. Also could be written as 'no insults.'
4: No unsolicited PM's to other members that are intended to harass or intimidate, though if they solicit harassment, go for it.
5: No Vicious Character Attacks. You may only attack peaceable and tolerant characters.

Generally, hate and prejudice of any kind will absolutely not be tolerated in any form. Though, if you start by saying 'generally', it sort of takes the sting out of the 'absolutely not'. Generally speaking, we absolutely do not welcome hate...generally speaking.


General Posting Guidelines, guidelines for those of other ranks to be added at a future date.

1: Search for topics before posting and/or requesting. Its probably already been posted somewhere, in fact, why bother? You have nothing new to add, and nothing new could be added. Just sit and read the old stuff and be happy we aren't infracting you.
2: Post in the proper section (NSFW belongs in NSFW. NSW belongs in SE Australia, and BC belongs in the timeline after pre-history but prior to the age we currently live in. All other areas are considered SFW unless the thread is properly labeled "NSFW" as a warning to readers, or you just really feel like dicking someone over at work today.)
3: Label threads properly, we suggest using the "Brother P-Touch 1880 Electronic Desktop Label Maker".
3a: No using symbols in the title of your threads to disguise names, put the correct name and/or site in the title as it's supposed to be speled, whoops, spelled.
3b: Unless otherwise authorized by the staff, you are allowed to post no more than 10 threads per day in any links section. This is a place to share, not a place to flood with your links. Though technically, you are sharing links...so...well we have to think this over a bit now.
3c: No unnecessary bumping of your own threads under any circumstances, necessary bumping is allowed especially if you want to play that game where all the threads show you as the last poster. It's such fun!
3d: Do not bump any threads older than 6 months unless you have mastered thread necromancy.
4: [code] all external links. This is done by highlighting the link and clicking the # icon. Make sure any [URL] tags are removed. Exceptions are embedded Youtube,etc. clips in the SFW sections only. We have used lots of symbols and shit in this rule, and if they confuse you, external linking may not be your thing.
5: Tag all thread topics ([RS]=Rapidshare / [HF]=Hotfile / [FSrv]=Fileserve / [DF]=Depositfiles / [MU]=Megaupload / [MS]=Megashare / [FF]=Filefactory / [FS]=Filesonic and so on. More than three hosts use [MULTI]. Less than one host uses [NONE]. Can't remember where you saw the video? Use [SENILE].
6: Do not use link protection on links in any forum or sub forum. We like our links like we like our sex, free and condomless.
7: No reposting/double posting of any kind. HAHA, reposting/double posting, that was a double posted repost of it's own. Madness!
8: All video links must be accompanied by Screen-caps, preferably from a film we have all seen, such as 'Ghostbusters', or 'Predator' or 'Tranny whores do Brazil, part four'.
9: Rule number nine is so secret we cannot share it with you. But, when you violate it, you'll know.
10: NO SPAMMING, ADVERTISING OR SOLICITATION!!! TYPING IN ALL CAPS MANDATORY. LOWER CASE TYPISTS WILL BE INFRACTED, AND INFRACTED HARD.
11: Do not attempt to post phishing links, because you are simply incapable of doing it. So why even attempt?
12. Do not request for mirrors in existing threads. Also, no towel racks, sinks, or bidets may be requested.
13: All passwords for rar files must be displayed in post (No Exceptions). First you'll need to find the post marked 'no exceptions'.
14: No URL Redirects, unless they redirect back onto themselves. Cause that's hilarious.
15: Whether you upload your own shares or simply share what's found elsewhere, or share simply shares, or simply share shares, your shares are simply shared. Say it five times fast, now.
16: VIEW THE COMPLETE APPROVED HOST SITE LIST PRIOR TO POSTING! View it! Now!

Jezter
08-05-2011, 08:08 AM
I can't believe I just read through this whole massive wall of smurf jizz.

JoeyB
08-05-2011, 08:23 AM
I can't believe I just read through this whole massive wall of smurf jizz.

That's abusive to Smurfs.

Jezter
08-05-2011, 08:26 AM
That's abusive to Smurfs.

Nuh-uh! If the jizz is a byproduct of consensual Smurf on Smurf abuse.

DemonGeminiX
08-05-2011, 08:39 AM
9: Rule number nine is so secret we cannot share it with you. But, when you violate it, you'll know.

Unfortunately JB, you've just violated that rule.



Now we have to kill you.

:evil:

redred
08-05-2011, 09:02 AM
or we could just trash the thread?

Hal-9000
08-05-2011, 03:03 PM
Joey...please try to go to the 'outside' place this year :thumbsup:

just for a few hours

Muddy
08-05-2011, 03:07 PM
or we could just trash the thread?


This thread is pure blue brilliance...

Tank
08-05-2011, 04:09 PM
do i bother reading the smurfjizz post?? or is it just trash?

Goofy
08-05-2011, 07:06 PM
That's five minutes i'll never get back :|

Noilly Pratt
08-05-2011, 08:25 PM
That's five minutes i'll never get back :|

3 for me. I went to the Evelyn Wood school of skim reading posts.


9: No requesting, through PM's or otherwise**, to other members for content that is deemed 'not allowed' by this board.
**=such as use of psychic powers, sending of a Western Union telegram, writing on the bathroom wall above the gloryhole, fax, snail mail, actual snails, smoke signals, billboards, posting of bills, Bill Cosby, town crier, John Cryer, suggestive tattoos, telephone, megaphone, vibraphone, or any other method we forgot to mention. The lone exception is morse code, because none of the mods understand it, so how will they ever know?
10: Only one account per person. Members found with multiple accounts will be infracted all the way up to being banned. Is it just me or does 'being infracted' sound suggestive and dirty? I'd like to infract a few of the members.

Also, Evelyn taught me Morse code...

.--- --- . -.-- -... / .. ... / -... .-.. ..- . / .- -. -.. / - .... . .-. . .----. ... / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / .. / -.-. .- -. / -.. ---

JoeyB
08-05-2011, 09:46 PM
Unfortunately JB, you've just violated that rule.



Now we have to kill you.

:evil:

Success! My suicide bid pans out.


This thread is pure blue brilliance...

Thank you. I sense that somebody had read the original and noticed I simply reworked it slightly.


do i bother reading the smurfjizz post?? or is it just trash?

Read the original rules, then mine. Mine are better and only require you to perform fellatio on me three times a year.


3 for me. I went to the Evelyn Wood school of skim reading posts.



Also, Evelyn taught me Morse code...

.--- --- . -.-- -... / .. ... / -... .-.. ..- . / .- -. -.. / - .... . .-. . .----. ... / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / .. / -.-. .- -. / -.. ---

Is that Morse for 'my penis weeps for your ass'?

Noilly Pratt
08-06-2011, 04:07 AM
Is that Morse for 'my penis weeps for your ass'?

no - penis is .--. . -. .. ...

JoeyB
08-06-2011, 05:30 AM
no - penis is .--. . -. .. ...

-.. --- -. .----. - / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / .-- .... .- - / .--. . -. .. ... / .. ... / .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / .--. . -. .. ... / .. ... / ... - --- .--. / - .... .. ... / -.. . ..-. . -. ... . / .. ... / .-.. --- --- -.- .. -. --. / -... .- -.. / ..-. --- .-. / -- . --..-- / .. ... -. .----. - / .. - / ... - --- .--. / .-- .... -.-- / .- -- / .. / ..- ... .. -. --. / ... - --- .--. ... / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / .-- .... . -. / ... - --- .--. ... / .- .-. . / ..-. --- .-. / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- -- ... / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / ... - --- .--.

Goofy
08-06-2011, 02:02 PM
-.. --- -. .----. - / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / .-- .... .- - / .--. . -. .. ... / .. ... / .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / .--. . -. .. ... / .. ... / ... - --- .--. / - .... .. ... / -.. . ..-. . -. ... . / .. ... / .-.. --- --- -.- .. -. --. / -... .- -.. / ..-. --- .-. / -- . --..-- / .. ... -. .----. - / .. - / ... - --- .--. / .-- .... -.-- / .- -- / .. / ..- ... .. -. --. / ... - --- .--. ... / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / .-- .... . -. / ... - --- .--. ... / .- .-. . / ..-. --- .-. / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- -- ... / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / ... - --- .--.

-.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / -.-. .-. .- --.. -.--

JoeyB
08-06-2011, 09:58 PM
-.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / -.-. .-. .- --.. -.--

-.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / -. --- / .. -.. . .- / -- --- ..-. --- --..-- / -. --- / .. -.. . .- .-.-.- / .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .-.-.- / .. / -- .- -.. . / .-.. .- ..- --. .... - . .-. .-.-.-

Goofy
08-07-2011, 09:36 AM
-.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / -. --- / .. -.. . .- / -- --- ..-. --- --..-- / -. --- / .. -.. . .- .-.-.- / .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .... .- .-.-.- / .. / -- .- -.. . / .-.. .- ..- --. .... - . .-. .-.-.-

.. / .... .- ...- . / .-.. --- - ... / --- ..-. / .. -.. . .- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / --- .-. / .-- .- ... / .. - / .. -.- . .- ..--..

DemonGeminiX
08-07-2011, 09:44 AM
.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / --. ..- -.-- ... / .... .- ...- .. -. --. / ..-. ..- -. / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / - .-. .- -. ... .-.. .- - --- .-. / .--- .- ...- .- ... -.-. .-. .. .--. - ... / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- ..- -. -.. ..--..

Goofy
08-07-2011, 10:21 AM
.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / --. ..- -.-- ... / .... .- ...- .. -. --. / ..-. ..- -. / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / - .-. .- -. ... .-.. .- - --- .-. / .--- .- ...- .- ... -.-. .-. .. .--. - ... / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- ..- -. -.. ..--..

dah-di-dah-dah dit di-di-dit

Teh One Who Knocks
08-07-2011, 11:06 AM
Da do do do de da da da Is all I want to say to you

:dance:

Hal-9000
08-07-2011, 08:01 PM
01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101110 01110011

JoeyB
08-07-2011, 09:27 PM
.. / .... .- ...- . / .-.. --- - ... / --- ..-. / .. -.. . .- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / --- .-. / .-- .- ... / .. - / .. -.- . .- ..--..

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01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101110 01110011

01001101 01101111 01110010 01101110 01110011 00111111 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101100 01111001 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01111001 01100101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110101 01110011 00100000 00100010 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101110 01110011 00100010 00101110 00100000 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001111 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100100 01100100 01101001 01110100 01100101 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01100110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01001101 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01100100 01100101 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101110 01100011 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100001 01110000 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 00100010 01001101 01101111 01110010 01101110 00100010 00101110 00100000 01001101 01101111 01110010 01101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100011 00101110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001000 01100001 01101100 00101100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110101 01100010 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00101110

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Hal-9000
08-07-2011, 09:34 PM
My spelling is pristine, piss off :lol:

JoeyB
08-07-2011, 10:12 PM
My spelling is pristine, piss off :lol:

Fine, morns it is from now on.