Teh One Who Knocks
10-10-2011, 11:55 AM
by Susie Bowers, Daily Mirror
http://i.imgur.com/iffs9.jpg
After enjoying a romantic *Italian meal together to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, Nina and Andrew went home to bed. But they didn’t have sex.
In fact, they haven’t made love for the last four years.
Despite being happily married and completely devoted to one *another, sex had become far too painful for Nina after Andrew was diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease in 2007 – a condition that makes his penis misshapen.
Since then, Nina has refused to have sex with her husband.
But she knows that Andrew is a ‘typical bloke’ and still has sexual urges. So to keep her husband happy, Nina lets Andrew use *escorts to fulfil the physical needs she can’t bring herself to meet.
“I don’t like him using escorts,” says Nina, 49, from Bradford. “I admit, it does bother me.
“But Andrew is my soul mate and we have been together since we were just teenagers. I’m not going to let this ruin our *marriage – it’s lasted almost 30 years.”
Nina first met Andrew back at school when they were *both 13.
They started dating at 17 and *within the year the sweethearts *were engaged.
“Andrew was in the Army when we started dating, but he used to write love letters to me every day.
“I knew then he was a keeper and when we did see each other, our sex life was brilliant.”
Andrew, also 49, left the Army after they got married in 1982 and the happy newlyweds *then went on to have two children together, Lindsey, who is now 27 and Marc, who is 25.
“Don’t get me wrong, we had our ups and downs – Andrew even had two affairs 13 years ago – but we worked through the difficult times and felt stronger for it.”
But four years ago, Nina and Andrew were to face yet another hurdle in their marriage.
Andrew started getting lumps in his hands and feet – and some even *appeared on his penis.
“When Andrew told me about the lumps he’d found, my *mind went on fast forward and all I could think about was my *dear husband having cancer.”
But after she *pestered Andrew to consult a *doctor, he returned with some very *unexpected news.
“Thankfully, the lumps weren’t cancer,” explains Andrew.
“It turned out I was diagnosed with something called Ledderhose and Peyronie’s disease, which causes *the lumps.”
“But the worst was to come,” says Nina. “One evening, we were having sex when I felt a sharp pain down there. I tried to play down how much pain I was in – Andrew had said that sex didn’t feel any different to him. But I just couldn’t deny how excruciating sex had become for *much longer.”
Andrew went to a sex clinic to see what they could offer him to help. But the clinic was unable to come up with a solution for the couple.
The only permanent treatment was for Andrew to have an operation, but neither Andrew or Nina were sure it was the right thing to do.
“It’s a serious procedure and there are no guarantees it would work so we decided against me having it,” explains Andrew. “But that meant we were left in the awkward position of still not having sex.”
Soon Nina was regularly feigning headaches and starting up arguments in order to avoid having to have sex with Andrew. Then one night after a huge row about their dwindling sex life, they didn’t kiss each other goodnight for the first time in their marriage.
“I really thought that she didn’t love me anymore,” says Andrew.
“I missed having sex with my wife – the closeness and intimacy. She didn’t seem to care though.”
Nina explains: “But to me, our marriage meant so much more than just having sex.
“We were still close in the other aspects of our marriage. Over the months, Nina and Andrew drifted apart.
Despite making an effort to go out for romantic meals together and on long holidays, their dwindling sex life was threatening *their relationship.
“I’m not naive at all – ever since we stopped having sex, I was *always racked with fear that *Andrew would go off and have another affair behind my back.
“The suspicion was driving us apart emotionally as much as the lack of *sex was.”
Then in 2009, Nina and Andrew went on holiday to Hong Kong to visit a friend who lives out there.
During their trip, Nina thought that the couple were finally getting on an even keel – but she was sadly very mistaken.
While she stayed in the hotel room to watch a film one night, Andrew went to the massage parlour down the road for a treatment.
During the hour that went by, Nina wondered if he was just having a neck and shoulder rub.
“He walked back in the hotel room all relaxed and breezy,” Nina recalls. “But my heart was pounding and I had to confront him so I asked if he had sex there, too.”
Andrew shifted and mumbled that he hadn’t.
But the doubt was screaming in Nina’s head, and it continued to niggle at her even after they got home.
And when she heard someone talking about being offered sexual services by a masseuse in China three months after their holiday, the worry was back at the front of Nina’s mind yet again.
So again, she asked Andrew about his ‘treatment’ at the massage parlour and he reluctantly admitted to having sex with the girl.
“I felt sickened and so hurt. He insisted that he loved me still and wanted to stay with me.
“He told me his time with the girl at the massage parlour was ‘just sex’ and there was nothing emotional about it.
“I really couldn’t help but feel completely betrayed though.
“But I believed that he loved me, and part of me was relieved he wasn’t having a full-on affair. At least this was out in the open now.” The couple have since been on other holidays to China when Andrew visits massage parlours and pays *escorts to have sex with him.
His discretion has allowed Nina to turn a blind eye and she has now decided not to ask for more details about his sex life.
Two years on, Nina even believes that Andrew’s sexual activities with the escorts have actually helped their marriage. “Of course, it plays on my mind,” admits Nina.
“But if he weren’t having sex with these escorts, Andrew might feel driven into the arms of another woman and leave me for good.
“That’s the very last thing that I *want – I love him too much to not be with him.
“This is a sacrifice that I make for the good of our marriage.
“In a way, Andrew having his needs met by these women is actually helping us stay together.”
Next June, *Andrew and Nina will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and look forward to spending their twilight years *together.
But will sex ever be on the cards for these two again?
Andrew says: “I still want to have sex with Nina and I hope that one day the condition will lessen and we’ll be able to make love again as a husband and wife should. But for now, I’ll just keep visiting the girls in the massage parlours when we go to China.
“It’s not ideal, but it’s what makes our marriage last.”
Nina is also hopeful about the *couple’s future. “I hope our love life is revived one day,” she says.
“We’ve been through so much and *I can’t *imagine life without him.”
http://i.imgur.com/iffs9.jpg
After enjoying a romantic *Italian meal together to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, Nina and Andrew went home to bed. But they didn’t have sex.
In fact, they haven’t made love for the last four years.
Despite being happily married and completely devoted to one *another, sex had become far too painful for Nina after Andrew was diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease in 2007 – a condition that makes his penis misshapen.
Since then, Nina has refused to have sex with her husband.
But she knows that Andrew is a ‘typical bloke’ and still has sexual urges. So to keep her husband happy, Nina lets Andrew use *escorts to fulfil the physical needs she can’t bring herself to meet.
“I don’t like him using escorts,” says Nina, 49, from Bradford. “I admit, it does bother me.
“But Andrew is my soul mate and we have been together since we were just teenagers. I’m not going to let this ruin our *marriage – it’s lasted almost 30 years.”
Nina first met Andrew back at school when they were *both 13.
They started dating at 17 and *within the year the sweethearts *were engaged.
“Andrew was in the Army when we started dating, but he used to write love letters to me every day.
“I knew then he was a keeper and when we did see each other, our sex life was brilliant.”
Andrew, also 49, left the Army after they got married in 1982 and the happy newlyweds *then went on to have two children together, Lindsey, who is now 27 and Marc, who is 25.
“Don’t get me wrong, we had our ups and downs – Andrew even had two affairs 13 years ago – but we worked through the difficult times and felt stronger for it.”
But four years ago, Nina and Andrew were to face yet another hurdle in their marriage.
Andrew started getting lumps in his hands and feet – and some even *appeared on his penis.
“When Andrew told me about the lumps he’d found, my *mind went on fast forward and all I could think about was my *dear husband having cancer.”
But after she *pestered Andrew to consult a *doctor, he returned with some very *unexpected news.
“Thankfully, the lumps weren’t cancer,” explains Andrew.
“It turned out I was diagnosed with something called Ledderhose and Peyronie’s disease, which causes *the lumps.”
“But the worst was to come,” says Nina. “One evening, we were having sex when I felt a sharp pain down there. I tried to play down how much pain I was in – Andrew had said that sex didn’t feel any different to him. But I just couldn’t deny how excruciating sex had become for *much longer.”
Andrew went to a sex clinic to see what they could offer him to help. But the clinic was unable to come up with a solution for the couple.
The only permanent treatment was for Andrew to have an operation, but neither Andrew or Nina were sure it was the right thing to do.
“It’s a serious procedure and there are no guarantees it would work so we decided against me having it,” explains Andrew. “But that meant we were left in the awkward position of still not having sex.”
Soon Nina was regularly feigning headaches and starting up arguments in order to avoid having to have sex with Andrew. Then one night after a huge row about their dwindling sex life, they didn’t kiss each other goodnight for the first time in their marriage.
“I really thought that she didn’t love me anymore,” says Andrew.
“I missed having sex with my wife – the closeness and intimacy. She didn’t seem to care though.”
Nina explains: “But to me, our marriage meant so much more than just having sex.
“We were still close in the other aspects of our marriage. Over the months, Nina and Andrew drifted apart.
Despite making an effort to go out for romantic meals together and on long holidays, their dwindling sex life was threatening *their relationship.
“I’m not naive at all – ever since we stopped having sex, I was *always racked with fear that *Andrew would go off and have another affair behind my back.
“The suspicion was driving us apart emotionally as much as the lack of *sex was.”
Then in 2009, Nina and Andrew went on holiday to Hong Kong to visit a friend who lives out there.
During their trip, Nina thought that the couple were finally getting on an even keel – but she was sadly very mistaken.
While she stayed in the hotel room to watch a film one night, Andrew went to the massage parlour down the road for a treatment.
During the hour that went by, Nina wondered if he was just having a neck and shoulder rub.
“He walked back in the hotel room all relaxed and breezy,” Nina recalls. “But my heart was pounding and I had to confront him so I asked if he had sex there, too.”
Andrew shifted and mumbled that he hadn’t.
But the doubt was screaming in Nina’s head, and it continued to niggle at her even after they got home.
And when she heard someone talking about being offered sexual services by a masseuse in China three months after their holiday, the worry was back at the front of Nina’s mind yet again.
So again, she asked Andrew about his ‘treatment’ at the massage parlour and he reluctantly admitted to having sex with the girl.
“I felt sickened and so hurt. He insisted that he loved me still and wanted to stay with me.
“He told me his time with the girl at the massage parlour was ‘just sex’ and there was nothing emotional about it.
“I really couldn’t help but feel completely betrayed though.
“But I believed that he loved me, and part of me was relieved he wasn’t having a full-on affair. At least this was out in the open now.” The couple have since been on other holidays to China when Andrew visits massage parlours and pays *escorts to have sex with him.
His discretion has allowed Nina to turn a blind eye and she has now decided not to ask for more details about his sex life.
Two years on, Nina even believes that Andrew’s sexual activities with the escorts have actually helped their marriage. “Of course, it plays on my mind,” admits Nina.
“But if he weren’t having sex with these escorts, Andrew might feel driven into the arms of another woman and leave me for good.
“That’s the very last thing that I *want – I love him too much to not be with him.
“This is a sacrifice that I make for the good of our marriage.
“In a way, Andrew having his needs met by these women is actually helping us stay together.”
Next June, *Andrew and Nina will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and look forward to spending their twilight years *together.
But will sex ever be on the cards for these two again?
Andrew says: “I still want to have sex with Nina and I hope that one day the condition will lessen and we’ll be able to make love again as a husband and wife should. But for now, I’ll just keep visiting the girls in the massage parlours when we go to China.
“It’s not ideal, but it’s what makes our marriage last.”
Nina is also hopeful about the *couple’s future. “I hope our love life is revived one day,” she says.
“We’ve been through so much and *I can’t *imagine life without him.”