‎50 shades of Chav

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"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew our tracksuits would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War, where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you" "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same." "My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had fucked his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ass. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections

[DemonGeminiX]

:huh: :wtf:

[Muddy]

British street urchins... A form of wegros but different..

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British street urchins... A form of wegros but different..

this :lol:

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‎50 shades of bristool continued ............. Diary extract Feb 14th 2012.........
I have woken this morning to a post it note on the towels repricating pillows next to me ( dwayne wont let me buy new ones e says its a waste of money as i only dribble on them ) and it read " Roses r red, Bluebelles r blue tonight is the night i am gonna take you " i love how e is so knowledgeable with his flowers and tings ! all excited i jumped out of bed and stumbled towards the top of the stairs as dwayne hadnt removed the celotape from around me ankles last night, I suddenly felt a warm feeling between me toes arghhh i wish me hunk of muscle would see a doc about that slack sphincter !! i spent me day plucking and smoking and pruneing and smoking and waiting for me man to walk through the door . the flat was gleaming with that new stuff i got up poundland and they josh stick thingeys were smelling proper mint i got a text " my valentine r u ready for me to take u (receiving text) " that annoys me before e could say where e was taking me his credit must of ran out e cant top up again till his budgeting loan comes through so will have to take a guess !!! i ran upstairs and dressed in me new blue star jeggings and sparkly boob tube, i heard the key in the lock i ran to the door e fell into me arms yeah this boy loves me ( but there was ^ empty cans of kestral ontop the bin ) his soft pastey skin and perky pink nipples were pleasing to my eyes as were the sight of him in his new air max i got him down the market i was so pleased thy had a super thick sole making dwayne even taller and hunkier even if they did resemble callipers. "where r u taking me " i jumped up and down ..... at this point e ripped off my jeggings and pushed me face down into the rug he ran his hands up my thighs and complimented on my smoothness e said it was much better than the turkey type bumpiness e was used too what did he mean by that ?? he moved his hands over my body and asked me to grow my bush cause e loved it ( e also muttered that if e couldnt get past the pubes then we could save the bus fare we usually spend to the std clinic once a week towards r next sun holiday ) this man is soooo special.
as for where e was taking me well i asked again as e fell onto the sofa pulled out his cutter choice and this time cracked open a can of tenants that smell on his breath drives me wild he replied " i have taken you noe pop down the chipper and get me a kebab grab yourself a battered sausage or summat " e sure knows how to treat a women i cant wait till next valentines day .... loves u dwayners pmsl