Share your Evil Genius Stories... Please, let me begin.

[Godfather]

My co-worker's Ex is a fantastic dude. Great father, a good provider, a kind and engaging individual. My co-worker, the ex wife, is a vile, spiteful, mean individual who spills verbal-diarrhea about nonsense for hours on end. Co-Worker has been dating this faux-rich guy we'll call Splenda Daddy for 6 months now. The dude is a twit, drives a cheap old BMW, lives in a small condo but walks and talks like he's Gordon Gekko because he's a stock broker.

Anyways, Co-worker has fallen hard for this grease ball and they're thinking about moving in together (I just pray they don't procreate). Now I know he'll dump her within months of living together, because they're both intolerable and all they really do is drink together. Irregardless, they're doing it, and there is one hurdle in their way: An old cat that shits on everything. You see, Co-worker has this cat she doesn't like, living in her basement suite, which Splenda Daddy won't allow at his townhouse 'mansion.' So she's trying to pawn it off on her Ex Husband. The Ex says no thanks, I already have a dog and my place isn't that big, sorry but No-Can-Do. Fair answer you would think.

But Co-Worker does what all conniving trolls would do: Uses their two beautiful children as tools. This past weekend she had them for the weekend, and planted a seed (or rather told them TELL DADDY TO TAKE CAT), that it was either Ex takes cat, or cat goes to a stranger's home. Naturally this upset them and they agreed to do her bidding.

So the kids went home to their Dad's on Sunday night while Co-Worker uncharacteristically sat in the car instead of going inside to say hello. Right as they were about to begin grovelling and acting out the show that my Co-worker had prepared, Ex showed them the new kitten he got them hours before they came home :rofl:

Yes, he had predicted his evil ex-wife would use the kids against him, and countered by getting them a beautiful new kitten of his own. Evil. Genius. Now he can undeniably tell the kids, no, the old cat could kill kitten. Major win for him. Now she has to continue paying rent on her basement suite until she finds a home for this old cat...

Anyways, share your best passive aggressive or evil genius stories

[Hugh_Janus]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y36/tracer03/brilliant-cigar-manthumbnail.jpg
don't have qany of my own though, cos I'm a nice guy :tup:

[RBP]

awesome story

[Hal-9000]

Can't compare to that story :lol:....but.....

At one time my friends and I used to go to a certain liquor store. Like clockwork, this drunk native Indian dude would accost us and ask for money approaching the liquor store. He'd actually get pissy if no one gave him anything, like we owed him a free ride...

so one day I said - Dudes, check this out. Just as the native guy was revving up his b.s. story du jour to get money, I quickly ran up to him and shouted - HEY MAN, DO YOU HAVE A DOLLAR????

the perplexed look on his face was priceless :lol: he was literally dumbfounded

[Noilly Pratt]

Good stories!

This one I just remembered because bullying and all of that is on every elementary school teacher's mind since a recent incident was brought to light...

This isn't an evil geniius as much as it's a "Living well is the best revenge" kind of story...

My normal Elementary school day in about Grade 5 consisted of me doing my normal studies, and then when the last bell rang, that feeling of dread. Would the kids want to punch me today or not?

Somehow they'd always find me...if I went out the side entrance, the main, the back...someone always snitched. And the one ringleader was named Jonathan. He was often the one who'd do the punching.

Well, eventually (after about 3 months of it) this was brought to the school's attention, made a big deal and it stopped.

Fast forward to me when I'm about 24 and I'm going bowling with my friends. A guy hands me my requested size 10's and says "Hey, you're ..." and mentions my name. I give him a very straight stare and say "yeah, Jonathan, I remember you." I see him looking me over and he says "whoah, did you ever bulk up!" My shoulders are about twice the size of his now.

He continues "Um, say what are you doing now?" I answer "I'm a computer support/analyst for the BC Government" which was true at the time...I say "what are you doing?" He says "Oh, just working here, you know, doing my thing." I go "mm hmm" and he says "hey, lets together for a beer or something." I say "Naah, I don't think so. Thanks for the shoes", take my shoes and begin bowling with my friends.

[Noilly Pratt]

Another one!

In High School I was always razzed because I didn't really date anyone or even seem to show any interest in women. Well, like most guys my age, I was petrified of doing the wrong thing, and well, most forays into that arena usually ended up in me becoming nothing more than friends with the girl.

Lisa (name changed because her real name is more unique sounding) was no exception. An absolutely gorgeous girl who no guy could even get the time of day from, except me, because of course, we were in that wonderful "good friends" zone like I was with every other female.

She and I were good friends, and in a lot of classes together. It was actually kind of funny sitting behind her and seeing the guys trying to hit on her with zero success. I'd say "swing....and a miss!" and she'd giggle. She'd talk about how she didn't understand guys, and I'd try and clue her in to how we think, etc.

In grade 10 something happened over the summer - something tragic in her life that she wouldn't even talk about with me. I guess she turned to food for comfort, because she was twice her size. She stayed that way all through our Grade 12 grad, and after having a few drinks in one of the after-parties, she found me and told me through tears that her uncle killed himself, and that's why she balooned up to the weight she was. I consoled her, said "who cares" - I liked her either way and to please keep in touch, to put it in a short, Reader's Digest like version of the conversation.

I was at a nightclub with my friends maybe 5 years later (some from high school, most from College) and one of my friends comes back and says "man, I just struck out with a BABE!" (this was the 80's!). We all turned to look and lo and behold it was Lisa.

She saw me turn and her face lit up and came over to our table. She had lost a lot of weight and all that padding was hiding the curves of a goddess, and she was dressed to kill in a white mini-dress that accentuated everything nice. She called my name and said "get over here!"

I talked with her and the people at her table for maybe 1/2 an hour and one of them, whom I find out is her fiancee said "she mentions you a lot as the guy she could really relate to and ask stupid questions to" and I said I did the same to her, as we knew we weren't an item. She gets this mischevious look on her face and says to me "are you still the same shy guy around women". "Not as bad, but kinda, yes" I state. "I've got an idea - that Rick used to say some hateful things about me and he's at your table now." I said "I remember"...thinking of all the fat jokes she had to endure from his sharp tongue. It usually ended up with me telling him to shut up. She whispers to her fiancee and he nods and smiles. I look puzzled...she with a smile "come with me" .

She leads me by the hand back to my table and says "follow my lead, OK - its the least I can do for an old friend" She says right in front of them "you are truly the most awesomest guy I ever met" and gave me a kiss that I still remember to this day as being on my top 10 list!

The guys are of course wondering where I know her from, etc., and a moment later the waitress asks if we want anything else. I say "no, I'm good" and she snaps back "I'll just bet you are!" then whispers in my ear "Lisa is a friend...she told me to say that!"

I didn't wipe off the grin on my face for days! :D