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Teh One Who Knocks
11-14-2012, 12:10 PM
Lindsay Abrams - The Atlantic


http://i.imgur.com/mH7dW.jpg

Data just published in the Journal of Urology considers a decade of genitourinary injuries in American adults -- trauma that's "remarkable given its uniquely sensitive nature and possible reproductive consequences." Researchers at UCSF looked a national sample of emergency room visits tied to the (mis)use of consumer products, conducted by the U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission, with the goal of understanding how such injuries might be prevented.

Since 2002, the number of incidences has remained more or less steady at about 16,000 per year. Here are the biggest things to watch out for, based on number of adults who report to U.S. emergency rooms with these injuries each year:


Bicycles (1,212)
Razors, scissors and clippers (1,089)
Zippers (951)
Bathroom falls and mishaps (818)
Basketball (309)
Baseball and softball (240)
Skiing and snowboarding (182)


The injuries occurred with more frequency during summer months. And as might be imagined just from the list, men accounted for two-thirds of the E.R. visits. But women weren't exempt -- the number of infections and lacerations related to trimming and shaving increased five-fold from 2002 to 2010.

The database is open to the public and includes the attending physician's notes, describing how the injuries occurred. Creatively repurposed, they can also serve as useful cautionary tales -- an answer to the authors' call for "simple preventative measures." A few examples:


VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

5YOM WAS PLAYING WITH FIRECRACKER (TYPE P) & IT WENT UP HIS SHORTS & BURNED HIM.

PT WAS SWINGING HAMMER AND HIT SELF IN GROIN

AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA

18 PT WAS AT A PARTY DANCING AND WAS ACCIDENTLY KNEED IN THE PENIS BY DANCE PARTNER CONTUSION PENIS


Other things to look out for are falling toilet seats, irritative soaps, or the variety of things that can go wrong "when trying to jump or step over a chair."

Muddy
11-14-2012, 01:29 PM
Quiz: Is This Burger From McDonald's Or Burger King?
You got 5 out of 10 right!

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 04:10 PM
for me the scenario was....:oops:

shower
trac 2 razor
a sneeze
my balls







:coat:

RBP
11-14-2012, 05:35 PM
Hal's teeth didn't make the list? :-s

PorkChopSandwiches
11-14-2012, 06:03 PM
:hand: Hes a gentle lover

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 06:05 PM
look bitches....I have no gag reflex so it's - open wide, then we're at the balls, teeth don't figure into it



:mrgreen:

PorkChopSandwiches
11-14-2012, 06:14 PM
:lol:

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 06:18 PM
I'm proud for all the wrong reasons :lol:

DemonGeminiX
11-14-2012, 09:04 PM
This article brings back the hilariously painful memory of that douchebag youtube kid that kept letting his "friends" traumatize his nuts and record it for posterity.

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 09:15 PM
Jackass guys who cut a small hole in the back of an aquarium, put a little mouse sock on the guy's dick, attached a string to it and then had a biting snake in the aquarium....and it bit! :lol:

there was a sheet up in between the guy and the aquarium so he couldn't see what was going on inside. They kept yanking the string, making his dick dance and the snake struck

Hugh_Janus
11-14-2012, 09:59 PM
I remember the first time I shaved my balls.... I swear I could see one of my plums when I wiped away the blood :lol:

Lambchop
11-14-2012, 10:03 PM
I would have thought BDSM?

minz
11-14-2012, 10:08 PM
Or cheating on your partner may cause them serious harm.... just saying :dunno:

Hugh_Janus
11-14-2012, 10:13 PM
yeah, herpes isn't nice :sad2:

DemonGeminiX
11-14-2012, 10:13 PM
Jackass guys who cut a small hole in the back of an aquarium, put a little mouse sock on the guy's dick, attached a string to it and then had a biting snake in the aquarium....and it bit! :lol:

there was a sheet up in between the guy and the aquarium so he couldn't see what was going on inside. They kept yanking the string, making his dick dance and the snake struck

:mrgreen:

http://i.minus.com/ioykxeEslVPeO.gif

Hugh_Janus
11-14-2012, 10:17 PM
hehe.... I have partyboy's theme as one of my ringtones

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 10:55 PM
I remember the first time I shaved my balls.... I swear I could see one of my plums when I wiped away the blood :lol:

fuckin stop man :lol:

Hal-9000
11-14-2012, 10:56 PM
:mrgreen:

http://i.minus.com/ioykxeEslVPeO.gif

THAT'S THE ONE! :dance:


I haven't seen many Jackass scenarios....that one stayed with me for a while

Jezter
11-15-2012, 09:44 AM
I remember the first time I shaved my balls.... I swear I could see one of my plums when I wiped away the blood :lol:

Duuude... :lol: You were totes not doing it right!