Teh One Who Knocks
12-02-2013, 02:25 PM
Brian Crisp, National travel editor - The Herald Sun
http://i.imgur.com/18bRxnp.jpg
I DON'T like your children.
What I mean to say is that I don't like your children when they travel.
Especially on planes and at airports.
On cruise ships they are OK because there is so much space and so many distractions - including world class kids' clubs. In fact on cruise ships parents have little to do with their children and the little ones seem to cope exceptionally well with that.
But on planes, in my opinion, your children are not cute or even fun to be near. Most of them are downright awful.
The more I travel, and I do do it for living, the more I am convinced that parents are losing control - or just switching into holiday mode thinking that others don't mind being in confined claustrophobic situations with the result of someone else's few moments of pleasure.
I usually grin, put on headphones, and zone out oblivious to the screaming toddler tantrums.
But I reached breaking point the other day on a flight from Brisbane to Melbourne.
Look out, kids. Brian Crisp is here to expose your monster tendencies.
I was seated in 24F. And we all know what that means. Every airline shuffles families to the back of the plane in an attempt to get them out of the way.
I was seated, surrounded, by the modern family - an older dad, yummy mummy and a son and daughter.
The dad sat in 24D and plonked his four-year-old son (let's just call him Damien for the heck of it) next to me. Straight away dad pulled out the newspaper and started reading completely ignoring the little monster who quickly reached the point of boredom and began to kick me to help pass the time.
I shot him the grumpy big bear glance. It worked for about two minutes and then the almost clockwork kicking started again. He knew what he was doing. The little bugger knew he was pushing my buttons and he was enjoying it.
His father, on a rare glance up from the newspaper, noticed and asked Damien to stop.
He did for about another two minutes.
The pattern repeated itself three times.
By the third time the dad asked him to stop I had had enough. Just before he went back to the newspaper I turned to him and calmly, and quietly, said: "The next time your son kicks me I'm going to hit you." And then I asked him if he understood what was going to happen.
I also suggested he swap seats because neither of us really wanted that to happen.
Now I'm a big bloke but in truth I could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag. So had he called my bluff I would have gone to water. But it worked. He swapped seats and dad and I sat side by side, awkwardly not saying a word to each other, for the rest of the journey.
Admittedly this kind of thing doesn't happen every day. But more and more I am seeing kids out of control on planes. Parents happily absolving themselves of any responsibility for the actions of their children.
And what is it with parents and children near the baggage belt.
News flash! It's not a playground and in fact it is pretty dangerous and your children are just in the way. Get them out of there.
I saw an incident between a well dressed 50-something woman and three adults and four children just last week. The children were riding the baggage belt when the woman reached across them to grab her bag. In doing so she clipped one of the kids with the bag.
The mother abused her yelling that she needed to be more careful.
Everyone stopped to witness the commotion. The first lady stormed off just before someone else knocked over another of the children trying to get to a bag. He received a mouthful of abuse as well.
Some people never learn.
Brian Crisp has three children - although the youngest is now almost 18.
http://i.imgur.com/18bRxnp.jpg
I DON'T like your children.
What I mean to say is that I don't like your children when they travel.
Especially on planes and at airports.
On cruise ships they are OK because there is so much space and so many distractions - including world class kids' clubs. In fact on cruise ships parents have little to do with their children and the little ones seem to cope exceptionally well with that.
But on planes, in my opinion, your children are not cute or even fun to be near. Most of them are downright awful.
The more I travel, and I do do it for living, the more I am convinced that parents are losing control - or just switching into holiday mode thinking that others don't mind being in confined claustrophobic situations with the result of someone else's few moments of pleasure.
I usually grin, put on headphones, and zone out oblivious to the screaming toddler tantrums.
But I reached breaking point the other day on a flight from Brisbane to Melbourne.
Look out, kids. Brian Crisp is here to expose your monster tendencies.
I was seated in 24F. And we all know what that means. Every airline shuffles families to the back of the plane in an attempt to get them out of the way.
I was seated, surrounded, by the modern family - an older dad, yummy mummy and a son and daughter.
The dad sat in 24D and plonked his four-year-old son (let's just call him Damien for the heck of it) next to me. Straight away dad pulled out the newspaper and started reading completely ignoring the little monster who quickly reached the point of boredom and began to kick me to help pass the time.
I shot him the grumpy big bear glance. It worked for about two minutes and then the almost clockwork kicking started again. He knew what he was doing. The little bugger knew he was pushing my buttons and he was enjoying it.
His father, on a rare glance up from the newspaper, noticed and asked Damien to stop.
He did for about another two minutes.
The pattern repeated itself three times.
By the third time the dad asked him to stop I had had enough. Just before he went back to the newspaper I turned to him and calmly, and quietly, said: "The next time your son kicks me I'm going to hit you." And then I asked him if he understood what was going to happen.
I also suggested he swap seats because neither of us really wanted that to happen.
Now I'm a big bloke but in truth I could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag. So had he called my bluff I would have gone to water. But it worked. He swapped seats and dad and I sat side by side, awkwardly not saying a word to each other, for the rest of the journey.
Admittedly this kind of thing doesn't happen every day. But more and more I am seeing kids out of control on planes. Parents happily absolving themselves of any responsibility for the actions of their children.
And what is it with parents and children near the baggage belt.
News flash! It's not a playground and in fact it is pretty dangerous and your children are just in the way. Get them out of there.
I saw an incident between a well dressed 50-something woman and three adults and four children just last week. The children were riding the baggage belt when the woman reached across them to grab her bag. In doing so she clipped one of the kids with the bag.
The mother abused her yelling that she needed to be more careful.
Everyone stopped to witness the commotion. The first lady stormed off just before someone else knocked over another of the children trying to get to a bag. He received a mouthful of abuse as well.
Some people never learn.
Brian Crisp has three children - although the youngest is now almost 18.