PDA

View Full Version : How gun control helped a stalker kill my husband



Teh One Who Knocks
03-03-2014, 12:01 PM
By Nicole Goeser - FOX News


In April 2009, my husband was shot six times in front of me in the middle of a busy restaurant by a man who was stalking me. I have a permit to carry a handgun but because of the law at that time in my home state of Tennessee, I had to leave the gun that I normally carried for self defense, locked in my car that night.

My husband Ben and I ran our mobile karaoke business out of a restaurant that served alcohol and my gun was forbidden there. I obeyed the law but my stalker, who was carrying a gun illegally, ignored it.

I noticed my stalker (a former karaoke customer) in the crowd that night and I knew something was not right. This was a man that I had blocked from my social network account due to inappropriate messages he had sent me.

He had never threatened me or my husband but he was definitely creepy.

My husband Ben had asked him to leave me alone before he showed up at this venue where I had never seen him before.

I realized at that point I was being stalked.

I asked the management at the restaurant to remove him.When they approached him and asked him to leave, he pulled out a .45 semi-auto and shot Ben. He then stood over him and continued to fire five more rounds into my husband.

I could only watch in horror and helplessness.

Since that terrible night I have learned that gun free zones are a predator's playground. This is where my stalker found us and where we were defenseless.

We all have a fight or flight response when we sense danger. We make decisions based on the options we have at that moment. Decisions must sometimes be made in a matter of seconds.

My only option that night was flight. Fight was not something I would have been able to follow through with because I was denied that chance. That basic human right was taken from me by a Legislature that unintentionally helped a predator hunt down his prey.

I hope that lawmakers around the nation will begin to understand that when you disarm law abiding citizens, you do not help protect law abiding citizens. Instead, you actually make it easier for those with evil intentions to be met with no little or no resistance.


In one way, I was lucky on the night my husband was shot and killed -- and so was everyone else in the restaurant. A United States Marine happened to be in the crowd, he tackled the man who killed my husband and held him until the police came.

I have been told the police arrived within 3 minutes after getting the 911 call. I can tell you that when something so terrible is happening to yourself or someone you love, even three minutes seems like an eternity. The familiar saying "when seconds count, the police are only minutes away" is very true.

I respect law enforcement. They have a very difficult job but even they know they cannot be anywhere and everywhere at anytime.

The majority of rank and file police officers I have spoken with support right to carry laws. They would much rather find an innocent person with a smoking gun and a dead bad guy than the other way around.

Unfortunately, most law enforcement officers fear speaking out in support of right to carry laws for fear of retaliation by their superiors, who, more often than not, are attuned to politics and not inclined to support self defense laws.

Then there are those who fear gun permit holders might do something wrong with a gun or hurt an innocent bystander.

I personally am more concerned about a bad guy shooting indiscriminately with no regard for innocent life rather than a permit holder who has had state certified training and fears criminal and civil penalties. Those penalties act as very real deterrents for good people. Less than one percent of permit holders ever do anything wrong with a gun. I can't think of any segment of society that is more law abiding.

It's time for law abiding people, who have taken proper legal measures to provide for their own self defense, to be allowed to carry a gun to places where they have a right to be present.

Evil can visit us anywhere. Signs posted on doors declaring "no guns allowed" do nothing to protect any of us.

Since my husband's murder, the law has been changed in the state of Tennessee. Handgun carry permit holders can now carry their guns into establishments that serve alcohol -- as long as they are not drinking alcohol and as long as the establishment has not posted a "no guns allowed" SIGN.

At least this gives law abiding citizens the ability to try to protect themselves. A right that my husband, Ben and I were tragically denied on the night he died.

FBD
03-03-2014, 01:22 PM
:hand: the police could have stopped the assailant

Goofy
03-03-2014, 01:26 PM
Doesn't matter a jot whether it's gun-free or not, if someone seriously wants to kill you then i'm afraid there's a high probability you are going to die. What would she have done if she did have a gun? Her husband still would've been shot....... yeah maybe she could have retaliated but it's doubtful that would've saved her husband and highly possible it would have ended with her being shot too imho.

Pony
03-03-2014, 02:26 PM
What would she have done if she did have a gun? Her husband still would've been shot....... yeah maybe she could have retaliated but it's doubtful that would've saved her husband and highly possible it would have ended with her being shot too imho.

I partially agree with you. Is it likely she would have been able to shoot him before he got off his initial shot? Probably not. Is it likely she could have shot him before he stood over her husband and fired more? Possibly, it depends on the circumstances.
We don't know the whole scenario including if the initial shot was fatal so I'm not gonna debate whether or not the outcome could have been different had she been armed.

FBD
03-03-2014, 03:12 PM
The incident happened when she was fearful enough to the point where she asked the establishment to have him removed, at that point the dude shot her husband.

If she had a gun, ya think she would have been that scared?

Or would she have been merely wary and had her hand on the pistol as they were leaving?

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 04:05 PM
It's a sad story but I agree with Goof. Unless you see the guy bring up the weapon, it's pretty hard to stop him.


for the record I do like hearing about people carrying guns who do get a chance to take a shot at these dickwads...I don't think the gun free zone or not issue could have enabled her to get the gun out of her purse in time to prevent the guy from shooting her hubby tho

FBD
03-03-2014, 05:56 PM
she sounded as prepared as you could be. her only problem was having to follow the law, which prevented her from protecting herself and her family. from the sounds of it she knew this guy was a fkn whacko and woulda been quick draw mcgraw...

if of course the law hadnt prescribed death for hubby.

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 06:00 PM
it's the image that comes to mind when I imagine that everyone down there can carry a gun, any place any time


kind of a High Noon scenario when people get angry for stupid things like taking someone's parking spot etc (not a case like the above story)

I believe it's a real danger to allow every citizen a weapon, because people are not judge/jury/executioner and they make poor decisions in times of stress...just read the 100 or so stories of the fast food rage that occurs and that's just the tip of the iceberg..

DemonGeminiX
03-03-2014, 06:10 PM
it's the image that comes to mind when I imagine that everyone down there can carry a gun, any place any time


kind of a High Noon scenario when people get angry for stupid things like taking someone's parking spot etc (not a case like the above story)

I believe it's a real danger to allow every citizen a weapon, because people are not judge/jury/executioner and they make poor decisions in times of stress...just read the 100 or so stories of the fast food rage that occurs and that's just the tip of the iceberg..

You're missing the point. The majority of the people like this stalker and the fast food rage stories aren't carrying legally. The law that forbids carrying isn't hurting these people. They don't give a shit, they're carrying anyway. It's the responsible people that obey the law that are getting hurt, like the woman in this story.

Loser
03-03-2014, 06:11 PM
I believe it's a real danger to allow every citizen a weapon, because people are not judge/jury/executioner and they make poor decisions in times of stress...just read the 100 or so stories of the fast food rage that occurs and that's just the tip of the iceberg..

Hal, keep in mind, that the majority of those cases happen in and around the "Ghetto" areas.

Normal law abiding citizens that carry firearms, don't act like animals ;)

I've carried a gun since I was 18 years old. Never shot anyone.

I do agree though that not everyone is fit to carry a handgun, and those that are should be properly trained and educated in their state laws.

FBD
03-03-2014, 06:17 PM
and let's not forget what the statistics say about defense free I mean crime free I mean gun free zones...

you take away law abiding citizens ability to defend themselves and immediately crime goes up.

Acid Trip
03-03-2014, 06:29 PM
I've carried a gun since I was 18 years old. Never shot anyone.


I've been carrying my concealed handgun since 2001 and I've only pulled it once.

A cop was chasing someone heading my direction yelling "Stop! Police!" so I pulled my weapon and aimed at the person he was chasing. That person immediately stopped running and dropped to the ground.

After cuffing the guy the cop asked for my ID/CCL, checked the dates, said "Thank you sir" and that was it.

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 06:32 PM
You're missing the point. The majority of the people like this stalker and the fast food rage stories aren't carrying legally. The law that forbids carrying isn't hurting these people. They don't give a shit, they're carrying anyway. It's the responsible people that obey the law that are getting hurt, like the woman in this story.

I haven't missed the point at all. I realize there's law abiding gun owners and the idiots who carry guns.

I am allowed to share what I think constitutes a problem, without getting told I'm missing the point or only people in ghetto areas act like animals. It happens and happens with great frequency. That is the point and always will be.

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 06:37 PM
Or to put it more succinctly, judging by what's written in the above story, whether the woman could have carried a concealed weapon or not had little to do with the outcome.

The title however is misleading and/or inaccurate.


Don't ever read one line of my posts and misconstrue the intent....I fully support home and business owners having weapons to defend themselves.

If I envision a High Noon scenario with the Average Joe making a bad call because he's allowed to pack a weapon, please don't try to pretend bad decisions haven't been made in the past with people shooting guns. It's a valid concern and point

FBD
03-03-2014, 06:41 PM
we hear ya, hal...its just that there's never any good retort to "the idiots" aside from there being plenty of guns in the good guys' hands.

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 06:51 PM
we hear ya, hal...its just that there's never any good retort to "the idiots" aside from there being plenty of guns in the good guys' hands.

Yeah there doesn't seem to be a happy medium where Americans can protect themselves, while allowing everyone and his dog the ability to carry a gun.


Question - Wasn't or isn't there a law in Texas where if a married person breaks in on their spouse, and the spouse is stepping out on them, that the first person has the right to shoot the interloper if it occurs in their home? It may be urban legend but if that's true, it's only one example where someone having a gun gets to make a life or death decision and that is not right.

Sure, no one wants to see their wife in bed with someone else committing adultery , but adultery shouldn't be a death sentence

FBD
03-03-2014, 07:17 PM
Sure, no one wants to see their wife in bed with someone else committing adultery , but adultery shouldn't be a death sentence

puh, that's been grounds for burial since the dawn of humankind :evil:

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 07:23 PM
yes I realize that some people should die for dicking another dude's wife...just offering a real world example of when average people are gun empowered and make bad decisi....



forget it :lol:

I'm in too good of a mood to do this today :thumbsup:

FBD
03-03-2014, 07:44 PM
oh, I meant her :lol:

Hal-9000
03-03-2014, 07:47 PM
yeah....I think that both parties should meet the same fate too :lol:

KevinD
03-04-2014, 02:10 AM
Ah, no. Urban legend