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Teh One Who Knocks
04-01-2014, 11:52 AM
by Will Jones - Gap Year


http://i.imgur.com/IgIOp9u.jpg

A man in Zambia has lost his genitalia after approaching a wild hyena and allowing it to feast on his naked body.

Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

Speaking to The Times of Zambia, Zulu said:


On 24th March around 4am, I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked. A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

While it’s tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool, he remains optimistic about his promised wealth.


Even though I have lost some important parts of my body, I still hope to get rich.

The witch doctor has declined to comment, but the actual doctor who is currently treating Zulu said: “Yes, it’s true he lost his manhood and three toes after being bitten by a hyena, but his condition is stable.”

Griffin
04-01-2014, 12:14 PM
by Will Jones - Gap Year]
While it’s tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool,



Darwin would argue that it isn't at all tragic.

perrhaps
04-01-2014, 02:38 PM
Darwin would argue that it isn't at all tragic.

If Darwin was alive today, he'd be scratching at the inside of his coffin.

FBD
04-01-2014, 02:46 PM
If Darwin was alive today he would be sad to see that humanity hasnt progressed one iota since he was alive, save for technology.

Muddy
04-01-2014, 03:30 PM
Idiot.

PorkChopSandwiches
04-01-2014, 03:32 PM
Good to hear

Hal-9000
04-01-2014, 05:08 PM
Zulu bath salts

Griffin
04-01-2014, 11:20 PM
, save for technology.

Except the technology wasn't achieved by humans.
...everyone knows it was stolen from the UFO's at Area 51.

deebakes
04-03-2014, 02:36 AM
:racist: