Teh One Who Knocks
05-20-2014, 11:06 AM
By Lee Kynaston - The Telegraph
http://i.imgur.com/Vhg6cch.jpg
It’s not often I receive a press release that has the power to make me tremble but the other day one popped into my inbox that caused a body-wide tremor. “The Man Bun,” it began, “is set to become the style of 2014.” This news comes from the cutting edge London hairdressing salon Fish, situated in the heart of London’s Soho, so I have no reason to doubt the veracity of it as a trend.
The Man Bun, in case you were wondering, is a neat and tidy solution to long hair on men. Sported recently by Oscar-winning actor Jared Leto it allows long hair to be tucked away at the back of the head courtesy of a artfully tied little bun, held nearly in place with the help of a hair band. It’s not a huge cottage-loaf of a thing, admittedly, but it is a bun nonetheless and something you could definitely slip chopsticks into if you so wished.
Yes, folks, as if the bearded East London hipster with his top knot wasn’t insufferable enough, now we have to endure the sight of men roaming the streets looking like Princess Anne when she hasn’t bothered much.
The Man Bun is not the same as the top knot though. No siree. “The Man Bun is a much better option for those who want to be on trend with minimum effort,” says Jordan Thomas, a stylist at Fish. “It’s a great style for those with a more rockabilly look who want to pull the hair back and get it out of their face, resulting in an effortless, shaggy yet on-trend look.”
For sure, the Mun (you didn’t think it would escape having guy-friendly portmanteau did you?) is a sly old thing. Because it’s tucked away at the back of the head you don’t notice the full horror until the wearer turns to the side or passes you in the street. I guess it’s a slightly more practical arrangement than the Top Knot (it’s essentially just ‘ponytail deluxe’ after all) but, quite honestly, it’s no less horrendous.
“Isn’t it also a bit, you know, ‘girlie’?” I ask Thomas.
“To put it bluntly, it is,” he says. “But I think you've got to embrace it and not care whether it is girlie or not. It’s certainly a more of a masculine option than a pony tail for the man with longer hair.”
Which is not saying much, given how maligned the ponytail is. Frankly, to me, anything that involves pins, clips, bands or – God forbid – scrunchies, is destined for disaster. After all, Beckham’s bob was fine until he attempted to tame it with that god-awful hair slide.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous of men who have long hair (or some hair for that matter) and I have absolutely nothing against them wearing it long. Quite the contrary in fact: from Jesus to Jared, men have consistently rocked long locks. It’s just that the minute men attempt to fashion those locks into something fancy things invariably go horribly awry. Attempt a top knot, tie-back or messy Mun and you can only ever look like a. a Sumo wrestler, b. a Scouse shop girl or c. Francis Rossi. If you’re a large guy, with a fake tan and are in possession of a guitar, possibly all three.
We men, of course, have previous when it comes to ridiculous hairdos (remember David Seaman’s three-foot ponytail? Beckham’s cornrows or Carlos Valderrama’s infamous ‘Cleo Laine’?) and yet we keep on making the same mistake. And frankly, in terms of bad haircuts, I think The Mun makes the mullet look totes chouette.
Still, a trend’s a trend and, with a celebrity endorsement, it may only be a matter of time before your boss is sporting a scrunchie and your best friend is bebunned. “Like a lot of fashion, whether it's clothes or hair, it starts off with the hipsters and filters through to the mainstream eventually,” says Thomas, ominously.
Even more ominously, there’s already a Tumblr glorifying such hair don’ts called F--- Yeah Men With Buns, which bun-lovers will no doubt call heaven but which I reckon is the most convincing evidence yet that David Cameron’s web filter proposals are a good idea.
http://i.imgur.com/Vhg6cch.jpg
It’s not often I receive a press release that has the power to make me tremble but the other day one popped into my inbox that caused a body-wide tremor. “The Man Bun,” it began, “is set to become the style of 2014.” This news comes from the cutting edge London hairdressing salon Fish, situated in the heart of London’s Soho, so I have no reason to doubt the veracity of it as a trend.
The Man Bun, in case you were wondering, is a neat and tidy solution to long hair on men. Sported recently by Oscar-winning actor Jared Leto it allows long hair to be tucked away at the back of the head courtesy of a artfully tied little bun, held nearly in place with the help of a hair band. It’s not a huge cottage-loaf of a thing, admittedly, but it is a bun nonetheless and something you could definitely slip chopsticks into if you so wished.
Yes, folks, as if the bearded East London hipster with his top knot wasn’t insufferable enough, now we have to endure the sight of men roaming the streets looking like Princess Anne when she hasn’t bothered much.
The Man Bun is not the same as the top knot though. No siree. “The Man Bun is a much better option for those who want to be on trend with minimum effort,” says Jordan Thomas, a stylist at Fish. “It’s a great style for those with a more rockabilly look who want to pull the hair back and get it out of their face, resulting in an effortless, shaggy yet on-trend look.”
For sure, the Mun (you didn’t think it would escape having guy-friendly portmanteau did you?) is a sly old thing. Because it’s tucked away at the back of the head you don’t notice the full horror until the wearer turns to the side or passes you in the street. I guess it’s a slightly more practical arrangement than the Top Knot (it’s essentially just ‘ponytail deluxe’ after all) but, quite honestly, it’s no less horrendous.
“Isn’t it also a bit, you know, ‘girlie’?” I ask Thomas.
“To put it bluntly, it is,” he says. “But I think you've got to embrace it and not care whether it is girlie or not. It’s certainly a more of a masculine option than a pony tail for the man with longer hair.”
Which is not saying much, given how maligned the ponytail is. Frankly, to me, anything that involves pins, clips, bands or – God forbid – scrunchies, is destined for disaster. After all, Beckham’s bob was fine until he attempted to tame it with that god-awful hair slide.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous of men who have long hair (or some hair for that matter) and I have absolutely nothing against them wearing it long. Quite the contrary in fact: from Jesus to Jared, men have consistently rocked long locks. It’s just that the minute men attempt to fashion those locks into something fancy things invariably go horribly awry. Attempt a top knot, tie-back or messy Mun and you can only ever look like a. a Sumo wrestler, b. a Scouse shop girl or c. Francis Rossi. If you’re a large guy, with a fake tan and are in possession of a guitar, possibly all three.
We men, of course, have previous when it comes to ridiculous hairdos (remember David Seaman’s three-foot ponytail? Beckham’s cornrows or Carlos Valderrama’s infamous ‘Cleo Laine’?) and yet we keep on making the same mistake. And frankly, in terms of bad haircuts, I think The Mun makes the mullet look totes chouette.
Still, a trend’s a trend and, with a celebrity endorsement, it may only be a matter of time before your boss is sporting a scrunchie and your best friend is bebunned. “Like a lot of fashion, whether it's clothes or hair, it starts off with the hipsters and filters through to the mainstream eventually,” says Thomas, ominously.
Even more ominously, there’s already a Tumblr glorifying such hair don’ts called F--- Yeah Men With Buns, which bun-lovers will no doubt call heaven but which I reckon is the most convincing evidence yet that David Cameron’s web filter proposals are a good idea.