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View Full Version : The Edge of Tomorrow, with Tom 'I want my money back' Cruise



daggaz
06-17-2014, 12:25 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUmSVcttXnI

Surprised not to see a thread here (or maybe word of mouth is that good and you have all avoided this PoS), obviously some minor SPOILERS so dont read anymore if you care.

This movie is billed as an 'interesting new twist' on time-travel, if by 'interesting new twist' they meant the same shit stain industry execs who's only thought process is, "Hey, video games are hot. If we can somehow merge this film with video game elements, we will sell more tickets and can seque right into the merchandising!" -ala Hobbit movies, Star Wars prequels, and gems like 'Doom:the movie'.

The plot is asinine and completely transparent, despite the fact that they could employ any number of plot devices thanks to Time Fucking Travel. The only decent part of it is that the main characters start doing something incredibly stupid and impossible, and you sit there thinking that it is incredibly stupid and impossible, and then Tom comes to that same realization and changes his plan of action accordingly. Then you breathe a little sigh of relief as the rest of your soul imperceptibly continues to die in your reclining theater chair while begging for just one more bite of stale popcorn and another sip of carmel flavored HFCS.

Seriously, its that bad. The background scenes are nicely done, and the action sequences are entertaining enough. *cough* Except for the horrible CGI <insert standard alien/matrix ripoff here> monsters, replete with the Nintendo syndrome of 'that one is slightly bigger and a different color and is therefor worth more points'. The problem is that the monsters are in every other scene. The basic premise is worth a few easy jokes, but then it just falls flat on its face, sequing from tired, overused exposition, to stale repetition, right into the typical predictable mid and ending sequences. I knew what was going to happen before they ever even got there, and spoiler alert, I cant even fucking time travel. And here's a kicker. They put in an Easter Egg if you can call it that. See if you can spot the gaping hole hiding in plain sight behind THE key plot point.

So on a scale of Scientologist on Oprah's couch to Top Gun, I would give this one maybe one and a half Toms.

And I liked Oblivion. Even tho it suffered from a weak, predictable plot as well, at least they put some effort into that one.

lost in melb.
06-17-2014, 12:53 PM
....

lost in melb.
06-17-2014, 12:55 PM
DVD time based on your review? Pity, it looked good

daggaz
06-17-2014, 01:18 PM
Yeah, this is a definite DVD or quite frankly, torrent target.

I'd watch it if I had no chance of getting laid and there was nothing better on.

DemonGeminiX
06-17-2014, 05:22 PM
I'd watch it if I had no chance of getting laid and there was nothing better on.

:rofl:

Hal-9000
06-17-2014, 06:00 PM
nice piece Daggaz, thanks

"So on a scale of Scientologist on Oprah's couch to Top Gun, I would give this one maybe one and a half Toms."

:lol:

Hal-9000
06-17-2014, 06:01 PM
I liked Oblivion as well 8-[

daggaz
06-18-2014, 07:04 AM
Thats because Oblivion was decently good (and could have been much better if they put a little more effort into the script, much like The Matrix), and had phenomenal visuals on top of it. They even salvaged some of the predictability by playing the clone twist for all it was worth, which was a pleasant surprise considering how 2 dimensional the rest of the plot was.