Teh One Who Knocks
01-08-2015, 12:09 PM
Albert Burneko - Deadspin
http://i.imgur.com/623pZHW.jpg
The brain is not a muscle. For proof of that, we turn to the commenting forums of Bodybuilding.com.
We focus so much on the idiocy of the present, sometimes, that we forget about the idiocy of the past. You know? A thousand years ago, whether the Earth orbited the Sun was a matter of controversy. Five hundred years ago, proponents of the germ theory of disease struggled to convince those who believed sickness spread via evil vapors. And, as recently as 2008, the hot debate splitting the online bodybuilding community was, "How many days are in a week?"
The answer, turns out, was "Let's all walk into the ocean forever."
You might be thinking that, as discussion topics go, "How many days are in a week?" maaayyyyybe isn't the most provocative. You might be thinking that, on a scale of contentiousness, "How many days are in a week?" would be grouped over there at the Super-Duper Agreeable end, along with "Are puppies cute?" and "How many noses do I have?" and "Are small things smaller than large things?" Ah, but this depends entirely upon who is doing the debating. As we'll see, when the participants are steakhead bodybuilder bros, "How many days are in a week?" is pretty divisive!
We begin with user m1ndless (heh), who has a question about workout frequency. Take it away, professor!
http://i.imgur.com/PPyqRCb.png
Got it. Good question. Here's all pro with an answer:
http://i.imgur.com/YRP4aOt.png
Pretty straightforward answer, even if it's maybe just a little bit snide.
Oh, hey, m1ndless has a follow-up question.
http://i.imgur.com/6BaF1Jz.png
[counts on fingers]
Mmm.
Either as a minor act of generosity or because he, too, does not know how many days are in a week, all pro responds to m1ndless's safety concerns, here, instead of correcting his math. Kind of a nice thing to do! Let the guy live with his bad day-counting skills.
But, lo, a dread cry rings out o'er the vale! "Well, actuallyyyyyy!"
http://i.imgur.com/icSjU4A.png
Thanks, steviekm3. Really doing your part, buddy.
I'd like to note, here, that according to his user information steviekm3 was 41 years old at the time of this discussion. If there's one thing I've learned in my 41 years of life, it's how to divide by two, and also that correcting strangers' math on the internet is cool and good.
The next reply comes from TheJosh. If I'm reading this correctly, TheJosh and m1ndless are the same person, maybe? Or else TheJosh is another dude from the same place (Phoenix, AZ), who's the same age (27) as m1ndless, and who decided to jump in and take up the banner of his fellow Arizonian's days-in-the-week cause for whatever rea—
You know what? They're fighting over how many days are in a week. Let's just let them do it.
http://i.imgur.com/2Wtco7E.png
Cool, cool.
You know what this debate over how many days are in a week needs? More perspectives.
Oh, hey, here's Justin-27. What do you think about this important issue?
http://i.imgur.com/JZhe2sn.png
I'm doing the math, here, and ...
[punches self in face]
... yep, it checks out.
http://i.imgur.com/5otUt0S.png
Hhhehhhhhhhh.
http://i.imgur.com/PO6sQH8.png
"Grow up and admit when you are wrong. Believe me you will get a lot further in life this way."
- 41-year-old man who is debating how many days are in a week in a bodybuilding forum on the internet
http://i.imgur.com/rG77J1V.png
My favorite thing about this comment—y'know, other than the fact that we're like seven exchanges into a debate about how many days are in a week and nobody has yet gone, "Y'know what? We don't actually need to debate this on the internet"—is that literally every part of it is wrong. Whether the week both begins and ends on Sunday, how many days would be in a week if it did begin and end on Sunday, how to spell "calendar," how to spell "calendar" a second time ... even the picture pasted into the bottom of the comment is broken. I love this comment. It is the best comment.
http://i.imgur.com/S9UYGvu.png
"... and you my bright friend are el wrongo."
[dying]
I'd like to pause, here, and note that whether TheJosh thinks there are two Sundays or 10 Sundays or 936.23 Wednesdays in a week has no actual impact on how frequently he will be working out if he works out every other day. None whatsoever! Which makes the exasperated tone of Justin-27's comment, here, reeeeeeally fucking funny. Nothing is being contested in this discussion, other than whether a complete stranger on the internet acknowledges a reality that will continue chugging happily along even if he doesn't. It's the least essential discussion ever had.
Don't let that stop you, fellas!
http://i.imgur.com/CAQwUDP.png
[sounds of wind blowing over a vast and empty desert]
http://i.imgur.com/yRBG9pW.png
http://i.imgur.com/myaOY7q.png
http://i.imgur.com/0s8ya2f.png
Well wouldja lookit friggin' Clarence Darrow over here.
"Your Honor, I'd like to enter this into evidence as Exhibit 97A. It clearly shows that I, the prosecutor, have wasted my life."
http://i.imgur.com/Wo4g8Ss.png
http://i.imgur.com/rJqFnMu.png
Question: Is TheJosh trolling?
Answer: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
http://i.imgur.com/ydpIxjL.png
"Holy shit, man, this is the biggest waste of time I have ever seen."
- Sisyphus
http://i.imgur.com/ckgg3R9.png
Hey, when you guys are done with this, can you tackle "is that light on?" next?
http://i.imgur.com/uwqbocr.png
[faints]
Listen. I'm going to skip ahead and show you something from further down the thread, now. It's upsetting, and a little bit frightening, but I think the world needs to see it. OK?
OK.
Here it is:
http://i.imgur.com/ZKxOOy7.png
[frisbees laptop into outer space]
http://i.imgur.com/623pZHW.jpg
The brain is not a muscle. For proof of that, we turn to the commenting forums of Bodybuilding.com.
We focus so much on the idiocy of the present, sometimes, that we forget about the idiocy of the past. You know? A thousand years ago, whether the Earth orbited the Sun was a matter of controversy. Five hundred years ago, proponents of the germ theory of disease struggled to convince those who believed sickness spread via evil vapors. And, as recently as 2008, the hot debate splitting the online bodybuilding community was, "How many days are in a week?"
The answer, turns out, was "Let's all walk into the ocean forever."
You might be thinking that, as discussion topics go, "How many days are in a week?" maaayyyyybe isn't the most provocative. You might be thinking that, on a scale of contentiousness, "How many days are in a week?" would be grouped over there at the Super-Duper Agreeable end, along with "Are puppies cute?" and "How many noses do I have?" and "Are small things smaller than large things?" Ah, but this depends entirely upon who is doing the debating. As we'll see, when the participants are steakhead bodybuilder bros, "How many days are in a week?" is pretty divisive!
We begin with user m1ndless (heh), who has a question about workout frequency. Take it away, professor!
http://i.imgur.com/PPyqRCb.png
Got it. Good question. Here's all pro with an answer:
http://i.imgur.com/YRP4aOt.png
Pretty straightforward answer, even if it's maybe just a little bit snide.
Oh, hey, m1ndless has a follow-up question.
http://i.imgur.com/6BaF1Jz.png
[counts on fingers]
Mmm.
Either as a minor act of generosity or because he, too, does not know how many days are in a week, all pro responds to m1ndless's safety concerns, here, instead of correcting his math. Kind of a nice thing to do! Let the guy live with his bad day-counting skills.
But, lo, a dread cry rings out o'er the vale! "Well, actuallyyyyyy!"
http://i.imgur.com/icSjU4A.png
Thanks, steviekm3. Really doing your part, buddy.
I'd like to note, here, that according to his user information steviekm3 was 41 years old at the time of this discussion. If there's one thing I've learned in my 41 years of life, it's how to divide by two, and also that correcting strangers' math on the internet is cool and good.
The next reply comes from TheJosh. If I'm reading this correctly, TheJosh and m1ndless are the same person, maybe? Or else TheJosh is another dude from the same place (Phoenix, AZ), who's the same age (27) as m1ndless, and who decided to jump in and take up the banner of his fellow Arizonian's days-in-the-week cause for whatever rea—
You know what? They're fighting over how many days are in a week. Let's just let them do it.
http://i.imgur.com/2Wtco7E.png
Cool, cool.
You know what this debate over how many days are in a week needs? More perspectives.
Oh, hey, here's Justin-27. What do you think about this important issue?
http://i.imgur.com/JZhe2sn.png
I'm doing the math, here, and ...
[punches self in face]
... yep, it checks out.
http://i.imgur.com/5otUt0S.png
Hhhehhhhhhhh.
http://i.imgur.com/PO6sQH8.png
"Grow up and admit when you are wrong. Believe me you will get a lot further in life this way."
- 41-year-old man who is debating how many days are in a week in a bodybuilding forum on the internet
http://i.imgur.com/rG77J1V.png
My favorite thing about this comment—y'know, other than the fact that we're like seven exchanges into a debate about how many days are in a week and nobody has yet gone, "Y'know what? We don't actually need to debate this on the internet"—is that literally every part of it is wrong. Whether the week both begins and ends on Sunday, how many days would be in a week if it did begin and end on Sunday, how to spell "calendar," how to spell "calendar" a second time ... even the picture pasted into the bottom of the comment is broken. I love this comment. It is the best comment.
http://i.imgur.com/S9UYGvu.png
"... and you my bright friend are el wrongo."
[dying]
I'd like to pause, here, and note that whether TheJosh thinks there are two Sundays or 10 Sundays or 936.23 Wednesdays in a week has no actual impact on how frequently he will be working out if he works out every other day. None whatsoever! Which makes the exasperated tone of Justin-27's comment, here, reeeeeeally fucking funny. Nothing is being contested in this discussion, other than whether a complete stranger on the internet acknowledges a reality that will continue chugging happily along even if he doesn't. It's the least essential discussion ever had.
Don't let that stop you, fellas!
http://i.imgur.com/CAQwUDP.png
[sounds of wind blowing over a vast and empty desert]
http://i.imgur.com/yRBG9pW.png
http://i.imgur.com/myaOY7q.png
http://i.imgur.com/0s8ya2f.png
Well wouldja lookit friggin' Clarence Darrow over here.
"Your Honor, I'd like to enter this into evidence as Exhibit 97A. It clearly shows that I, the prosecutor, have wasted my life."
http://i.imgur.com/Wo4g8Ss.png
http://i.imgur.com/rJqFnMu.png
Question: Is TheJosh trolling?
Answer: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
http://i.imgur.com/ydpIxjL.png
"Holy shit, man, this is the biggest waste of time I have ever seen."
- Sisyphus
http://i.imgur.com/ckgg3R9.png
Hey, when you guys are done with this, can you tackle "is that light on?" next?
http://i.imgur.com/uwqbocr.png
[faints]
Listen. I'm going to skip ahead and show you something from further down the thread, now. It's upsetting, and a little bit frightening, but I think the world needs to see it. OK?
OK.
Here it is:
http://i.imgur.com/ZKxOOy7.png
[frisbees laptop into outer space]