Teh One Who Knocks
09-10-2015, 11:01 AM
By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com
One Boston-based writer who doesn't identify as male or female decided to undergo two major surgeries, ensuring that the presence of a uterus and breasts wouldn't define who they are as a person, or tie them to a specific gender.
Lore Graham, from Boston, Massachusetts, is a self-described 'nonbinary' person, choosing no single gender. Lore does not like to be called 'her' or he', preferring 'ze' instead. While the writer was born biologically female, Lore felt encumbered by breasts, ovaries and a uterus - and decided to do something about it, undergoing both a mastectomy and hysterectomy this summer.
'I live in my own body, that I've customized to better harmonize with my brain, and it's working wonderfully,' the novelist wrote in an essay for xoJane.
http://i.imgur.com/SfFXYxa.jpg
Up until recently, Lore lived as a feminine cisgender girl - meaning, Lore was biologically a girl and also projected as one. But that lifestyle never felt quite right, and being a typical 'girl' wasn't a perfect fit. However, Lore isn't totally transgender, and didn't necessarily want to be a boy either - so complete sexual reassignment surgery was not the solution.
'I felt weird having breasts and I despised my body’s ability to get pregnant,' Lore explained. 'I started taking testosterone three years ago, which improved my mental health and body image but didn’t solve the problem of my chest or uterus.'
So, this summer, Lore went under the knife for both breast and reproductive organ removal - two major surgeries that were performed in the span of about a month.
Lore's first consultation was back in April, and after much insisting on the writer’s part, the doctor agreed to perform peri-areolar surgery, which is the less common form of breast removal surgery. This type of surgery would leave less noticeable scarring and also allow the possibility of retaining nipple sensation. Lore's partner, Q, who is also binary, has undergone the same procedure.
On the day of the surgery in June, the doctor came in and drew incision lines with marker on Lore's chest, which seemed strange: 'It felt bizarre knowing that the last interaction with my breasts anyone would have was a middle-aged manly surgeon drawing on me with a sharpie.'
Leading up to the procedure, Lore was a bit worried that, when it was all said and done, there would still be a sense of unhappiness about the way it looked. But those fears turned out to be unfounded. Once the drugs wore off, Lore was able to get a look at the results, and instantly felt relieved and happy to have a flat chest.
http://i.imgur.com/9SNOWRI.jpg
The ordeal wasn't without struggles, however. The recovery period was tough: Raising arms and lifting anything heavier than five pounds afterward was off-limits, drains were inserted under Lore's armpits, and a week's worth of bed rest was mandatory. After five days, Lore had the drains removed, a process which was described as 'horrifically unpleasant'. For weeks after that, the recovering patient wore a special compression garment and continued to bleed occasionally.
It was all frustrating, but Lore said it was worth it - and all of the pain and discomfort certainly weren't enough to stop the second surgery, which was scheduled for about a month later, from happening.
This time, Lore was undergoing the removal of the cervix, ovaries, and uterus, with the vagina renaming unchanged.
Luckily, this surgery, too, went off without a hitch: 'My abdomen hurt but luckily my vagina didn’t, and the doctor said everything had gone swimmingly.'
That is, until later. After a surgery like this one, patients are required to pee before they are discharged in order to make sure everything is still working properly. Lore ddin't pee for an abnormally long time, even after chugging water and ginger ale, and was only allowed to go home after being fitted with a catheter. The prospect was 'terrifying' but less painful than Lore expected, and thankfully was removed the next day.
http://i.imgur.com/BELC2EB.jpg
Recovery was also easier this time around, especially because the surgery was done laparoscopicly. Though Lore was in pain, there were no drains or restricted movements, and there was also the relief of being finally finished. Also, because Lore was already taking testosterone, there were no menopausal side-effects, which are typical after hysterectomies.
Lore also got to see some 'pretty cool' before and after X-rays, and learned from a doctor that ovarian cysts had been present before the hysterectomy - which made Lore even more glad to no longer have ovaries.
Two months later, Lore still doesn't have nipple sensation, but is happy that they can still get hard. Even better, Lore no longer have to deal with 'chest management' while hanging out or having sex, and has found that getting dressed is less complicated.
'If desired, I put on a shirt. That's it. No bras, no binders, no support or compression, no back pain, no worrying about what type of shirt, nothing. It's f***ing great,' Lore said.
The self-described 'androgynous, neuter person' now smiles while looking at the scars from surgery. Lore used to suffer from 'serious anxiety', but now feels relieved to never feel worried about getting pregnant or getting a period.
According to Lore, who no longer feels stuck in a stranger's body, making a decision about one's own body, independent of what society thinks or expects, is empowering.
One Boston-based writer who doesn't identify as male or female decided to undergo two major surgeries, ensuring that the presence of a uterus and breasts wouldn't define who they are as a person, or tie them to a specific gender.
Lore Graham, from Boston, Massachusetts, is a self-described 'nonbinary' person, choosing no single gender. Lore does not like to be called 'her' or he', preferring 'ze' instead. While the writer was born biologically female, Lore felt encumbered by breasts, ovaries and a uterus - and decided to do something about it, undergoing both a mastectomy and hysterectomy this summer.
'I live in my own body, that I've customized to better harmonize with my brain, and it's working wonderfully,' the novelist wrote in an essay for xoJane.
http://i.imgur.com/SfFXYxa.jpg
Up until recently, Lore lived as a feminine cisgender girl - meaning, Lore was biologically a girl and also projected as one. But that lifestyle never felt quite right, and being a typical 'girl' wasn't a perfect fit. However, Lore isn't totally transgender, and didn't necessarily want to be a boy either - so complete sexual reassignment surgery was not the solution.
'I felt weird having breasts and I despised my body’s ability to get pregnant,' Lore explained. 'I started taking testosterone three years ago, which improved my mental health and body image but didn’t solve the problem of my chest or uterus.'
So, this summer, Lore went under the knife for both breast and reproductive organ removal - two major surgeries that were performed in the span of about a month.
Lore's first consultation was back in April, and after much insisting on the writer’s part, the doctor agreed to perform peri-areolar surgery, which is the less common form of breast removal surgery. This type of surgery would leave less noticeable scarring and also allow the possibility of retaining nipple sensation. Lore's partner, Q, who is also binary, has undergone the same procedure.
On the day of the surgery in June, the doctor came in and drew incision lines with marker on Lore's chest, which seemed strange: 'It felt bizarre knowing that the last interaction with my breasts anyone would have was a middle-aged manly surgeon drawing on me with a sharpie.'
Leading up to the procedure, Lore was a bit worried that, when it was all said and done, there would still be a sense of unhappiness about the way it looked. But those fears turned out to be unfounded. Once the drugs wore off, Lore was able to get a look at the results, and instantly felt relieved and happy to have a flat chest.
http://i.imgur.com/9SNOWRI.jpg
The ordeal wasn't without struggles, however. The recovery period was tough: Raising arms and lifting anything heavier than five pounds afterward was off-limits, drains were inserted under Lore's armpits, and a week's worth of bed rest was mandatory. After five days, Lore had the drains removed, a process which was described as 'horrifically unpleasant'. For weeks after that, the recovering patient wore a special compression garment and continued to bleed occasionally.
It was all frustrating, but Lore said it was worth it - and all of the pain and discomfort certainly weren't enough to stop the second surgery, which was scheduled for about a month later, from happening.
This time, Lore was undergoing the removal of the cervix, ovaries, and uterus, with the vagina renaming unchanged.
Luckily, this surgery, too, went off without a hitch: 'My abdomen hurt but luckily my vagina didn’t, and the doctor said everything had gone swimmingly.'
That is, until later. After a surgery like this one, patients are required to pee before they are discharged in order to make sure everything is still working properly. Lore ddin't pee for an abnormally long time, even after chugging water and ginger ale, and was only allowed to go home after being fitted with a catheter. The prospect was 'terrifying' but less painful than Lore expected, and thankfully was removed the next day.
http://i.imgur.com/BELC2EB.jpg
Recovery was also easier this time around, especially because the surgery was done laparoscopicly. Though Lore was in pain, there were no drains or restricted movements, and there was also the relief of being finally finished. Also, because Lore was already taking testosterone, there were no menopausal side-effects, which are typical after hysterectomies.
Lore also got to see some 'pretty cool' before and after X-rays, and learned from a doctor that ovarian cysts had been present before the hysterectomy - which made Lore even more glad to no longer have ovaries.
Two months later, Lore still doesn't have nipple sensation, but is happy that they can still get hard. Even better, Lore no longer have to deal with 'chest management' while hanging out or having sex, and has found that getting dressed is less complicated.
'If desired, I put on a shirt. That's it. No bras, no binders, no support or compression, no back pain, no worrying about what type of shirt, nothing. It's f***ing great,' Lore said.
The self-described 'androgynous, neuter person' now smiles while looking at the scars from surgery. Lore used to suffer from 'serious anxiety', but now feels relieved to never feel worried about getting pregnant or getting a period.
According to Lore, who no longer feels stuck in a stranger's body, making a decision about one's own body, independent of what society thinks or expects, is empowering.