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Teh One Who Knocks
07-14-2016, 11:16 AM
Hamilton Nolan - Gawker


http://i.imgur.com/k2mbbMv.jpg

The Venezuelan military has seized control of the nation’s major ports and has been placed in charge of distributing food in an attempt to deter murderous, starving food bandits. That is not even the worst news.

The military has also been put in charge of “controlling prices and stimulating production,” guaranteeing that the nation will face both a thriving black market and bloody crackdowns on the same. A recent study found that half of school children are going to bed hungry at least once a week. The government, funded mainly by oil revenue, is now undertaking an ambitious food distribution program at the same time that its oil production falls to a 13-year low. The government is also investigating an alleged billion-dollar bribery scheme tied to the state oil company. The government also recently seized a diaper factory. Neighboring countries are blocking Venezuela’s president from participating in international organizations. Entire families are sleeping on city sidewalks in order to wake up early and get in line for food. The majority of the population now buys goods from “bachaqueros,” people who stand in long lines to buy scarce products and then resell them at a markup. Indeed, standing in long lines is perhaps the last remaining growth industry in Venezuela. Not even gun murders in broad daylight can tempt bystanders to abandon their spot in line to help a bleeding victim. Last week, hundreds of desperate women rushed past border guards in order to buy food in Colombia.

In Caracas, the entire nightlife industry has shut down due to fear of violent crime. Pet owners are abandoning their dogs on the side of the road. The nation is gripped by an epidemic of garage sales, as families sell everything they own in order to survive. And as if that wasn’t enough, Venezuela’s economic crisis has now trickled all the way down to the most innocent victim of all: the Miami luxury condo market.

On the upside, it recently rained. Water is very important.

FBD
07-14-2016, 11:47 AM
and not only that, Citibank just fucked Venezuela out of a ton of gold - a swindle that Maduro fell for, and Chavez was vehemently against.

Noilly Pratt
07-14-2016, 04:29 PM
4 years ago a dad of one of the kids in my daughter's school sold up everything and moved there because "I can retire and live like a king". "Wife 2.0" as he called her was a native of Venezuela.

Wonder how he's doing now...haven't heard from them for a couple of years.

perrhaps
07-14-2016, 04:37 PM
Ah, yes, Venezuela! hailed by Michael Moore and Sean Penn as the jewel of socialism.

We ought to drop off those assholes in downtown Caracas. They'd be enough to feed a family of four for the next few years.

Muddy
07-14-2016, 05:32 PM
Excellent thread title..

DemonGeminiX
07-14-2016, 05:47 PM
A Venezuelan restaurant opened here about 3 years back. I went there and ate and got sick as a dog from the food.

Muddy
07-14-2016, 05:51 PM
Thats because you were probably eating dog.

DemonGeminiX
07-14-2016, 07:03 PM
I shit rivers of green for 3 days straight.

Muddy
07-14-2016, 11:37 PM
Poetry at its finest..lol

KevinD
07-15-2016, 01:16 AM
I've been To Venezuela: Caracas, and El Tigre. Of all the places I've been, those areas sucked the most. This was in 2010/11 or so.

Godfather
07-15-2016, 01:25 AM
" On the upside, it recently rained. Water is very important. "

Californians are thinking - quit your whining :lol:

But seriously Venezuela is fucked. Saw a photo essay of their hospitals, just tragic. They're just out of supplies and their fucked government won't take any international help. Makes you thank your lucky stars you were born somewhere categorically better.

Hugh_Janus
07-17-2016, 11:44 AM
the country is on its ass, but the state owned oil company paid ~$100 million for a venezuelan do drive a racing car for 5 years.... crazy