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View Full Version : 'Murray, Fred Perry, historic strawberries' says Britain



Goofy
06-20-2011, 12:03 PM
TENNIS will start being played in Britain today apart from all the other places in Britain where it is played all the time.

Many people who watch tennis for the two weeks it happens specifically in South West London think that Andy Murray has a great chance of winning the trophy or cup or whatever it is because some people who watch it the other 50 weeks of the year say so.

Andy Murray said: "Practising hard, good form, biggest stage, try my best, history, groin, Nadal, handed my arse, fired my trainer."

He then said some other things that people struggled to understand because of his accent.

Nikki Hollis, considered an expert on tennis amongst her friends because she watched that Woody Allen film with Scarlett Johansson in it most of the way through said: "I think Andy’s got a great chance this year because he's really improved his forehead.

"Anyway, he should be okay as long as he avoids Sampras because he can hit the ball very hard.

"Really? When did that happen?"

She added: "Anyway me, Holly and the girls managed to get tickets tomorrow for court five and it should be a really good day's tennis because all the rain we've been having has done wonders for the strawberries."

The weather could play a vital role in this year's tournament, as many fear delays will cause them to have to pretend to care about the whole thing for more than the scheduled two weeks.

Organisers have also warned that two months of solid rain, alongside the combined genital excitement of thousands of confused housewives, might turn Andy's Acclivity, formally Henman's Hump, into a dangerous mudslide that could joyfully engulf the entire complex.

Leefro
06-20-2011, 12:12 PM
Fuck that wolves shirt wearing coont

Hope he goes out in the first round with a broken ankle

WANKER

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 12:21 PM
Fuck that wolves shirt wearing coont

Hope he goes out in the first round with a broken ankle

WANKER

Wow, dinnae beat around the bush! :shock:

Leefro
06-20-2011, 12:27 PM
I hate the Bastard :)

Win he's British loses he's Scottish

No he's a coont

End of

Arkady Renko
06-20-2011, 12:30 PM
who gives two hoots about tennis anymore anyway?

Teh One Who Knocks
06-20-2011, 12:33 PM
who gives two hoots about tennis anymore anyway?

Nobody in the US anymore since all our tennis players suck now :lol:

Leefro
06-20-2011, 12:52 PM
who gives two hoots about tennis anymore anyway?

Obviously it's only the womens tennis that interests me

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 12:53 PM
I hate the Bastard :)

Win he's British loses he's Scottish

No he's a coont

End of

What did he do wrong to you?

Leefro
06-20-2011, 12:55 PM
Soccer Am ;)

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 12:56 PM
Ahm no wi yi..

Leefro
06-20-2011, 12:57 PM
Ohh and this

http://www.wolves.co.uk/page/News/0,,10307~1698442,00.html

Makes him a bigger Coont

Leefro
06-20-2011, 01:00 PM
Ahm no wi yi..

I can just make that out

He seems to have lost his accent ;)

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 01:03 PM
Ah. I gotcha now. You a West Brom fan?

At least he's no doing the typical celtic/rangers top! :hand:

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 01:04 PM
I can just make that out

He seems to have lost his accent ;)

I dont know why i type like that sometimes, it must be frustrating!

whereas if I typed that in my dialect it would be:

I dinnae ken why like ah type like that sometimes, be frustratin!

yi dig? lol

Leefro
06-20-2011, 01:06 PM
He was on soccer AM a few years ago slagging off the english and that is why of my Dislike

does this round it off

He's a hibs fan I think

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 01:12 PM
Scottish humour is very dry, he's from not that far away from me, my mate used to coach him and his brother for a bit, so I understand his humour. He has had stick for what he's said before and can understand also people hearing what he's saying and believing it, doesnae help matters that the media in our country subtly tries to keep any scottish/english bigotry going. I know you aint gonna necessarily believe what i'm saying either but believe me, he wasnae serious in what he was saying, Some people get it I know, and hes been haunted by it since he said it but it wasnae said with ill will, we scots are very dry honest! :grouphug:

Leefro
06-20-2011, 01:15 PM
Not when I went to Partick Thistle and a certain pub in Edinburgh I did not see much Humour ;)

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 01:18 PM
And when i went done to Doncaster I nearly got a kickin because of my accent. It didn't change my opinion of people, just made me realise there will always be heed the baw's out there to ruin it for everyone. I could show you a hundred pubs in Edinburgh where yi'd be welcomed wi open arms mate!

Arkady Renko
06-20-2011, 01:18 PM
Obviously it's only the womens tennis that interests me

exactly, at least some of the current players are really hot. Men's tennis on the other hand...Nadal is a roid powered freak and Federer, Djokovic and Murray are nice and boring son-in-law types. There aren't any of the exciting old figureheads anymore like Jim Courier, Stefan Edberg or Jimmy Connors, only to name a few.

Teh One Who Knocks
06-20-2011, 01:34 PM
exactly, at least some of the current players are really hot. Men's tennis on the other hand...Nadal is a roid powered freak and Federer, Djokovic and Murray are nice and boring son-in-law types. There aren't any of the exciting old figureheads anymore like Jim Courier, Stefan Edberg or Jimmy Connors, only to name a few.

Bring back Johnny Mac ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmJi_oc7t10

Leefro
06-20-2011, 01:57 PM
And when i went done to Doncaster I nearly got a kickin because of my accent. It didn't change my opinion of people, just made me realise there will always be heed the baw's out there to ruin it for everyone. I could show you a hundred pubs in Edinburgh where yi'd be welcomed wi open arms mate!

hahahah It's ok son my opinion varies from person to person sir

I enjoyed my time everytime I Went to Scotland.. nothing wrong with the odd bit of banter :)

Leefro
06-20-2011, 01:58 PM
Johnny Mac is a presenter on the BBC right now

He aint sweared once yet

Arkady Renko
06-20-2011, 02:12 PM
Bring back Johnny Mac ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmJi_oc7t10

yeah, him, too. And Boris Becker, Henri Leconte and Yannick Noah, Pat Rafter...every single one of these guys had more charisma than the current top ten combined.

Goofy
06-20-2011, 05:43 PM
Obviously it's only the womens tennis that interests me

Jelena Dokic was on earlier......... smuggling peanuts as always :giggity:


He was on soccer AM a few years ago slagging off the english and that is why of my Dislike


http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/917/5fc21c880431c62697ee112.jpg (http://img811.imageshack.us/i/5fc21c880431c62697ee112.jpg/)

:dance:

Leefro
06-20-2011, 06:01 PM
You got a dingles shirt ??

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 09:26 PM
Jelena Dokic was on earlier......... smuggling peanuts as always :giggity:

So I wasnae the only person who noticed that!:pirate:

SmoothBob
06-20-2011, 09:29 PM
And he won, 2nd round:scotland::outtahere:

Goofy
06-25-2011, 06:58 PM
You got a dingles shirt ??

Why would i? I'm a Rangers fan :tup:


So I wasnae the only person who noticed that!:pirate:

;) Did you see the Serena Williams - Maria Kirilenko match earlier today Bob? Kirilenko bent over at one point and i'm sure Serena popped a stiffy :)

SmoothBob
06-25-2011, 07:02 PM
There bloody scary these Williams! Im sure they've raped a few guys! :doggybanana:

Goofy
06-25-2011, 07:25 PM
Serena would be an awesome rugby player :tup:

Arkady Renko
06-27-2011, 12:55 PM
There bloody scary these Williams! Im sure they've raped a few guys! :doggybanana:

girls, more likely.

If Serena beats Bartoli as planned, she'll face my homie Sabine. I hope we'll get her back in one piece...

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 04:49 PM
Been some fantastic quarter and semi finals in both the men and womens, fantastic viewing!

Djokovic in his first Wimbledon final and will be world number 1 on monday! Fed saying before the quarter finals that he saw the final as himself and Nadal, said that he would be very shocked if it was Djokovic and Murray as that would mean he would have to take a closer look at his game.

Murray has just taken the first set from Nadal, could be somethin special here..

Leefro
07-01-2011, 04:55 PM
Special my hairy backside :(

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 04:59 PM
Quiet you!

Leefro
07-01-2011, 05:08 PM
4-2 down second set

cam on yo Nadal :)

Leefro
07-01-2011, 05:08 PM
4-2 down second set

cam on yo Nadal :)

Sorry 5/2

WoooHooo :)

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 05:28 PM
Yip, in that unique trait that us Scots have, he's snatching defeat from the very jaws of victory!

:(

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 05:40 PM
Is not looking good..

Leefro
07-01-2011, 06:31 PM
How is Henman doing ??

Shit sorry Murray

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 06:54 PM
ach come on, the way Nadal played he would have beaten anyone..

Still, will be a grand final!

Muddy
07-01-2011, 06:56 PM
I love seeing you Scots type in your local dialect... very interesting.. :lol:

SmoothBob
07-01-2011, 07:00 PM
I love seeing you Scots type in your local dialect... very interesting.. :lol:

Huv yi read any Irvine Welsh, he REALLY does it well :)

Leefro
07-01-2011, 07:07 PM
I love seeing you Scots type in your local dialect... very interesting.. :lol:

Yo aye erd nowt yet

SmoothBob
07-02-2011, 08:39 AM
I guess now Murray's out he'll be back to being Scottish again eh? :D

Leefro
07-02-2011, 10:55 AM
He was always scottish and always be a prick

SmoothBob
09-13-2011, 10:16 AM
We gonna make this a general tennis thread?

Anyone watch the US Open final? Jeez Nadal got spanked! Djokovic was on a diff level. 3 Slam wins this year, boy is on fire! Is he gonna be saying sorry Nadal, u aint who's gonna dominate now Fed is winding down..

Goofy
09-21-2011, 09:46 PM
We gonna make this a general tennis thread?

Anyone watch the US Open final? Jeez Nadal got spanked! Djokovic was on a diff level. 3 Slam wins this year, boy is on fire! Is he gonna be saying sorry Nadal, u aint who's gonna dominate now Fed is winding down..

tbh i'm just waiting on Nadal's injury retirement...... his knees are fucked! Djokovic will rule the game for the next 4 or 5 years i think......

Arkady Renko
09-22-2011, 01:00 PM
tbh i'm just waiting on Nadal's injury retirement...... his knees are fucked! Djokovic will rule the game for the next 4 or 5 years i think......

yeah, Rafa has abused his health for years on end, who knows what funny voodo doctor cures he's taken off the record. That usually doesn't end well.