Teh One Who Knocks
08-17-2016, 11:50 AM
By Annabel Fenwick Elliott for MailOnline
http://i.imgur.com/RacHb4c.jpg
'Recapture your vagina's youth so you can feel tight and wanted again' - the slogan accompanying one of several creams currently on the market which claim to 'shrink' and 'tighten' your lady bits.
Little Genie Productions promises its $24.99 '18 Again' cream, applied internally, will make you feel both 'younger' and 'sexier' by way of its potassium alum compound.
The ingredient, commonly found in deodorants, allegedly causes skin cells to swell so that the vaginal walls become engorged and feel tighter.
18 Again, with its acid pink branding, isn't the only cream in its category. None of them appear to be FDA approved, but this is not a legal requirement for companies selling such products.
Another cream, Hott Products' Liquid Virgin, priced at $6.30 for a 1 oz tube, appears to be marketed more towards men than women.
'Make her feel like a virgin all over again with this amazing vaginal contracting lube,' the product description reads.
It claims to be ideal for 'post pregnant women' and, as the company so delicately phrases it, 'not so well endowed men.'
Tellingly, the product reviews on Amazon are extremely polarized, as with all of the other similar creams; with ratings of either five stars or one.
'You do become tight and stay tight. Worth the money,' one review reads.
'I tried it and not only did it not work whatsoever, but it also caused me to get a bladder infection and a yeast infection,' reads another.
http://i.imgur.com/mLd2nID.jpg
Another brand, Crazy Girl Wanna Be Tight Shrink Cream, which sounds more like a line from a rap song than anything you'd want to apply to the walls of your vagina, promises the same results.
'A diva's secret for that first time feeling!' the description reads. 'Formulated with ingredients to put tight back into your sex life.'
As with its 18 Again cousin, potassium alum is touted as the active ingredient, encouraging 'increased blood flow to area applied, to produce tightened, engorged tissue.'
One male reviewer reported a bit of a back-fire situation after using the $7.88 product, writing: 'Yeah, it's shrink cream. But let's just say it's not exactly selective about what it'll shrink.'
His poetic account continues: 'Yeah, shrink, shrank, shrunk. Except not even Dr. Seuss can make this funny. She says she'll never leave me, but now she calls me Peanut to all her friends.'
http://i.imgur.com/OHeLKnp.jpg
Tighten It Up! V Gel, costing $9.22, advises applying the cream and then leaving it for a few minutes for it to work its magic.
After use, according to its parent company, Cal Exotics, it 'easily cleans by flushing with water or feminine hygiene solution' - which doesn't sound very easy at all.
'My husband LOVED IT!!' one review reads. 'He felt the difference like automatically and after we finished he went straight to sleep so I give this two thumbs up.'
In what is probably a fitting conclusion from another, this time obviously irked customer, the woman wrote: 'Caused all kinds of irritation and uncomfortable aggravation. What was I thinking anyway?
'Only an idiot, like myself, would purchase this product or any of the ones similar to it.'
http://i.imgur.com/RacHb4c.jpg
'Recapture your vagina's youth so you can feel tight and wanted again' - the slogan accompanying one of several creams currently on the market which claim to 'shrink' and 'tighten' your lady bits.
Little Genie Productions promises its $24.99 '18 Again' cream, applied internally, will make you feel both 'younger' and 'sexier' by way of its potassium alum compound.
The ingredient, commonly found in deodorants, allegedly causes skin cells to swell so that the vaginal walls become engorged and feel tighter.
18 Again, with its acid pink branding, isn't the only cream in its category. None of them appear to be FDA approved, but this is not a legal requirement for companies selling such products.
Another cream, Hott Products' Liquid Virgin, priced at $6.30 for a 1 oz tube, appears to be marketed more towards men than women.
'Make her feel like a virgin all over again with this amazing vaginal contracting lube,' the product description reads.
It claims to be ideal for 'post pregnant women' and, as the company so delicately phrases it, 'not so well endowed men.'
Tellingly, the product reviews on Amazon are extremely polarized, as with all of the other similar creams; with ratings of either five stars or one.
'You do become tight and stay tight. Worth the money,' one review reads.
'I tried it and not only did it not work whatsoever, but it also caused me to get a bladder infection and a yeast infection,' reads another.
http://i.imgur.com/mLd2nID.jpg
Another brand, Crazy Girl Wanna Be Tight Shrink Cream, which sounds more like a line from a rap song than anything you'd want to apply to the walls of your vagina, promises the same results.
'A diva's secret for that first time feeling!' the description reads. 'Formulated with ingredients to put tight back into your sex life.'
As with its 18 Again cousin, potassium alum is touted as the active ingredient, encouraging 'increased blood flow to area applied, to produce tightened, engorged tissue.'
One male reviewer reported a bit of a back-fire situation after using the $7.88 product, writing: 'Yeah, it's shrink cream. But let's just say it's not exactly selective about what it'll shrink.'
His poetic account continues: 'Yeah, shrink, shrank, shrunk. Except not even Dr. Seuss can make this funny. She says she'll never leave me, but now she calls me Peanut to all her friends.'
http://i.imgur.com/OHeLKnp.jpg
Tighten It Up! V Gel, costing $9.22, advises applying the cream and then leaving it for a few minutes for it to work its magic.
After use, according to its parent company, Cal Exotics, it 'easily cleans by flushing with water or feminine hygiene solution' - which doesn't sound very easy at all.
'My husband LOVED IT!!' one review reads. 'He felt the difference like automatically and after we finished he went straight to sleep so I give this two thumbs up.'
In what is probably a fitting conclusion from another, this time obviously irked customer, the woman wrote: 'Caused all kinds of irritation and uncomfortable aggravation. What was I thinking anyway?
'Only an idiot, like myself, would purchase this product or any of the ones similar to it.'