Quincy native who ‘attacked life’ gets death notice for the ages [Archive]

RBP

12-16-2016, 04:57 PM

http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/20161215/irishman-chris-connors-wanted-funny-obit-daughter-delivered

YORK, Maine - When Caitlin Connors sat in front of a fire last weekend, to write her father's obituary, she followed his instructions to make it funny, but didn't anticipate it would be shared globally.

The obituary for Chris Connors, with the headline "Irishman dies from stubbornness, whiskey," has been "shared and shared" through social media, his daughter said. Before Barstool Sports, Boston Magazine, Men's Health and the Boston Globe made stories about the tribute she wrote for her dad, Connors said his family was expecting 150 to 200 friends to attend a celebration of his life Monday at the York Harbor Inn.

"Now that it's viral," she said, the family plans to contact the York Police Department for a security detail. The obituary was published on Seacoastonline, in the Portsmouth Herald and the York Weekly.

"He would've loved it," said Connors' widow, Emily Connors. "He would've laughed. He's definitely looking down at us."

She said her husband was "extremely sick" for the last three months of his life and whenever family members mentioned writing his obituary, he put it off.

"I just want you to make it funny," were his instructions, his widow said. "I don't want a run-of-the-mill obituary. So we had champagne and we had an obituary-writing party."

His daughter, a copy editor (looking for work at a Seacoast ad agency), delivered in spades.

Outlandish and hilarious, the obituary is also all true, Caitlin Connors assured. Her father died at age 67 "after trying to box his bikini-clad hospice nurse just moments earlier," the obituary reports.

"When he was on hospice, a friend of the family, who is just as crazy, was bikini-clad when she would help administer his medication," Caitlin Connors said.

It's true that he boxed, brawled, loved and enjoyed adult beverages, including expensive champagne from a solo cup with a wine glass stem, "Just because," his widow said. He also launched a Wall Street career, with no experience, after a trader enjoyed his personality, while Connors was painting a fence, and gave him a business card.

"Absolut vodka and Simply Orange companies are devastated by the loss of Connors," according to his obituary.

His daughter shared a business card he once had made that read, "Christopher C. Connors, Man of Action." The card said he specialized in many areas including witnesses rehearsed, bars emptied, women seduced and tigers tamed. It said he traded in used cars, land, whiskey, manure, nails, flyswatters, racing forms, bongos and wind machines.

Chris Connors wrote the line in his obituary about grabbing life by the lapels, kissing it and swinging it back onto the dance floor, said his daughter. It was written when she turned to him for help writing a slogan for her high school yearbook.

Caitlin Connors said she wrote the rest of the obituary with her cousin Elizabeth, over cocktails.

"We picked the top five or six stories" from his life, she said. "There are so many more."

Making the cut were tales about his January ocean swims, being stabbed while defending a mugging victim and drifting in a life raft off the coast of Panama. Also true was his love of music and attachment to his Sonos music remote control, which he took upstairs at night and wouldn't let anyone else touch, said his widow.

"He loved music more than anything," Connors' widow said. "He was a horrible dancer, but he loved to dance. He had a heart of gold."

For Monday's celebration of Chris Connors' life, his daughter said, everyone is asked to bring a story about him and all will be compiled in a book for his sons Chris, 11, and Liam, 8.

Because of the popularity of his obituary, his daughter said, $10,000 has already been raised for Connors' water safety fund at thechrisconnorsfund.com.