It's so hot today, I'm sweating like a paedophile at a hannah montana concert.
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It's so hot today, I'm sweating like a paedophile at a hannah montana concert.
I've just put 300 pounds on a horse.
I gave my wife a leg-up.
In the toilet, I went up next to this other guy at the wide urinal to take a piss and he saw how big my dick was.
Quick erections aren't always a good thing.
Cant wait for the minute silence at the memorial. It is the only time you get americans to shut the fuck up about what happened.
I walked out of a club with a girl last night.
She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, "Yours or mine?"
I said, "That's mine."
I no longer see my wife and kids and it's all because of gambling.
I won shit loads of money and moved to a Pacific Island.
They say so many people die because of alcohol...
Perhaps they never realised how many of them are born because of it.
I've been married to my wife ten years today.
Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication.
I don't know how she does it.
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely ruined our 10th anniversary.
If my Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal.
I took my wife out last night,and as I did up her zip,I thought she had never looked better.
Dead in a body bag.
I've always stood up for black people.
It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat.
So, Google has turned 13 today.
It's not the first time that a 13 year old has provided me with decent wanking material.
My dyslexic wife takes it up the earholes.