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Thread: Supergenius Arrested While Attempting To Repair Flat Tire With Band-Aids

  1. #1
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Dumb Supergenius Arrested While Attempting To Repair Flat Tire With Band-Aids

    Jason Torchinsky - Jalopnik




    Okay, I get it. I see how it works. Apparently, in our current police state, it’s illegal to try and fix the tires on your own car with the crap you find in a forgotten office first aid kit. Well, maybe not illegal, but it is pretty stupid, and the part about being under the influence of drugs while driving, that part’s illegal. A Mercedes driver in Mission Viejo, California learned all this, empirically.

    The 26-year-old was spotted by a passer-by around 6 a.m. this morning, where the mid-2000s Mercedes-Benz M-class was parked on the side of the road. By the car, surrounded by a lot of small, fussy wrappers, was the driver, who was attempting to repair two severely damaged tires with gauze and band-aids.



    It’s not clear if the driver warned approaching police by saying “OFFICERS, WE’RE LOSING THEM! LET ME WORK!” and then proceeded to attempt to give the tires CPR, but what is clear is that you can’t staunch tires bleeding air with gauze, partially because air doesn’t clot, and partially because what kind of idiot are you?

    I do like that it appears gauze has been packed into that sizable tire-wound there. What I’d really like to know is if the driver already had the medical supplies with him, or if he specifically went out to purchase them to try and repair the tire.

    The man was eventually arrested by Mission Viejo Police on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, though it’s possible police did that just to be nice, so the guy could have a reasonable explanation of why he’s such an idiot.

  2. #2
    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Other than stupidity, how is this a crime? Didn't he own the vehicle?

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    Other than stupidity, how is this a crime? Didn't he own the vehicle?


    The man was eventually arrested by Mission Viejo Police on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, though it’s possible police did that just to be nice, so the guy could have a reasonable explanation of why he’s such an idiot.

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    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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    Who would have guessed drugs were involved






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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    They suspected him of being high and that's a crime?

    I'm gonna say it was profiling because he was brown or black and next to a Mercedes.

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    They suspected him of being high and that's a crime?

    I'm gonna say it was profiling because he was brown or black and next to a Mercedes.
    I'm going to guess that since he was on the side of the road trying to attempt to fix the flat tire, he may have had the keys in the ignition. If so, that is probable cause that he was operating a vehicle under the influence, which is an arrest-able offence.

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    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    Why is he classified as a super-genius?

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    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post

    I'm gonna say it was profiling because he was brown or black and next to a Mercedes.
    Mission Viejo in a Benz, either white or asian






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    Dilly dilly Goofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muddy View Post
    Why is he classified as a super-genius?
    He was repairing a flat tyre with band-aids, only a super-genius would do that

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Goofy For This Useful Post:

    Muddy (08-23-2019), Teh One Who Knocks (08-23-2019)

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