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Thread: Fascinating: The CEO Of McDonald’s Has Revealed That Grimace Is The Larval Stage Of Ronald McDonald

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Weird Fascinating: The CEO Of McDonald’s Has Revealed That Grimace Is The Larval Stage Of Ronald McDonald

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    America’s favorite fast food company just gave the public some fascinating new information about its corporate mascots that is certain to captivate customers both young and old: The CEO of McDonald’s has revealed that Grimace is the larval stage of Ronald McDonald.

    What an intriguing development!

    In an official statement released this morning, McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook revealed that Grimace is a larva that will one day pupate into Ronald McDonald, the adult version of its species. Check out Easterbrook’s explanation of Grimace’s astounding biology below:

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

    I would hereby like it to be known to the public that Grimace is the larval stage of Ronald McDonald. Ronald McDonald is the adult version of Grimace, and the two of them are of the same species. Every 300 years, Ronald McDonald crawls into the ball pit of a McDonald’s play area and lays an egg there. The egg hatches into Grimace, who is a baby version of Ronald McDonald in the same way that a maggot is a baby housefly. Ronald McDonald (the adult Grimace) feeds its baby Grimace by finding nuts and berries in the forest and bringing them back for Grimace to eat.

    After 100 years of eating, Grimace enters a cocoon and begins a metamorphosis during which his amorphous purple body slowly transforms into the colorful, more fully developed adult Ronald McDonald. This metamorphosis process takes an additional 200 years. When two centuries have elapsed, Grimace emerges from the cocoon, now an adult Ronald McDonald. The new Ronald McDonald eats the old Ronald McDonald (its own mother), and begins looking for a mate. Ronald McDonald mates with the Hamburglar (the male variant of the species), and after mating, Ronald McDonald bites the head off of the Hamburglar (for reasons of biology). Ronald McDonald then lays a new egg in the ball pit of a McDonald’s play area, and the beautiful process begins again.

    The current Grimace will eat the current Ronald McDonald sometime in the year 2273.

    I hope this announcement helps you understand McDonald’s better. Thank you for eating at our restaurants.

    Sincerely,
    Steve Easterbrook
    CEO, McDonald’s

    So interesting! It’s awesome to learn this cool backstory to some of the most recognizable corporate mascots in the world. Now whenever we see Ronald McDonald, we’ll know that it’s only a matter of time before her child, Grimace, devours her and takes her place! Other corporations take note: This is how you run a company!

  2. #2
    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I'm down with this.

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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Grimace is a creature and Ronald doesn't mate with the Hamburglar and then bite his head off. Don't make McDonalds gay & weird.

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    It's kind of sad that you don't see the other characters other than Ronald like when we were kids. Where's Grimace? And the Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese?

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    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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    Holy Shiiiiit






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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teh One Who Knocks View Post
    It's kind of sad that you don't see the other characters other than Ronald like when we were kids. Where's Grimace? And the Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese?
    Hamburglar would probably somehow incite the SJW's (he's a criminal and has a black mask! ) and Mayor McCheese would upset the fatties and people who think he's somehow white and in power.

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    He's kinda brownish

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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Oh you know someone will make him white

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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    I'm surprised Ronald has been able to remain white all these years...

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Lot of white faces in that picture...

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    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    I'm surprised Ronald has been able to remain white all these years...
    Don't give them any ideas...

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    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Who is the cop on the right?

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    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    Officer Big Mac?

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    Who is the cop on the right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Muddy View Post
    Officer Big Mac?
    Officer Big Mac

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