Josh Brolin Tried “Perineum Sunning” and It Completely Ruined His Day

[Teh One Who Knocks]

By Matthew Dessem - Slate




Josh Brolin, the Academy-Award nominated actor who turned in bravura performances in No Country for Old Men, Hail, Caesar!, and Inherent Vice, to say nothing of his work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, has sustained what he described as “#severeperineumburns” after trying out “perineum sunning,” the latest in Instagram wellness trends.

If you haven’t heard about perineum sunning, thank you for allowing me to ruin your day. On Oct. 21, Instagram user “𓂀 𓋹 Metaphysical Meagan 𓋹 𓂀” wrote that she had incorporated “sunning my bum and & yoni🌺 into [her] daily rising routine,” in accordance with an “an ancient Taoist practice.” Benefits of letting your taint catch some rays, according to 𓂀 𓋹 Metaphysical Meagan 𓋹 𓂀, include deeper sleep, better focus, an amplified auric field, reduced leakage of life force energy, and bringing “prana or solar energy from the sun into the organs within the body which strengthens the organs. 🌞” It all sounds very cool and very plausible, which is presumably why Brolin decided to give it a try. But after seeing the results for himself, he was less than delighted. Maybe it’s better if you hear it from Brolin. (The photo he used comes from 𓂀 𓋹 Metaphysical Meagan 𓋹 𓂀’s original post.):

A post shared by on Jan 01, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

Given Brolin’s experiences, it seems like perineum sunning is a wellness practice that lands in a sort of ill-defined middle ground: Tain’t a legitimate medical treatment, but tain’t a harmless placebo either. There oughta be a word for that.

Here are Josh Brolin’s complete comments on the benefits and dangers of perineum sunning:

Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain. I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously. #blackholefriday #blackholesun #severeperineumburns #santamonicafiredepartment #assholecare

[Goofy]

[Pony]

[Muddy]

I cant even read this.

[Pony]

I cant even read this.

Want me to summarize in smaller words?

[Muddy]

Sure..!

[DemonGeminiX]

His name is Cornholio. He had no TP for his bunghole.

[Godfather]

He must be trolling us right?!?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Oddity Central




Every once in a while, a health trend so unbelievably crazy comes along that it leaves us wondering if it’s nothing more than a parody. “Perineum Sunning”, or exposing your ‘back door’ to direct sunlight for a few minutes every week is one such trend, and unfortunately it’s no joke.

Did you know that exposing your butthole to direct sunlight for just 30 seconds every day is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight exposure with your clothes on? At least that’s what Instagram “healer” Metaphysical Megan claims in one of the viral social media posts that catapulted perineum sunning to health craze level. It also allegedly gives you more energy than chugging several cups of coffee and improves sleep, among other health and spiritual benefits. However, many medical experts warn that this bizarre practice can be dangerous, as the perineum area is particularly sensitive and exposing it to direct sunlight without protection could increase the risk of skin cancer.

“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” Instagram user ra_of_earth wrote in a viral post, back in October. He also posted a step-by-step Sun Worship exercise from a book by Dr. Stephen T. Chang, who claims that it can help keep the area “healthy and free of germs”.

A post shared by on Jan 01, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

“30 seconds of direct sunlight injection to The anal orifice is equivalent to being outside in the sun ALL DAY!” Instagram user certifiedhealthnut wrote in a post that has gotten over 2,000 likes.

A post shared by on Jan 01, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

According to some sources, even celebrities have been caught in the perineum sunning trend, including Hollywood actress Shailene Woodley, who told The Gloss that she uses it to get a vitamin D boost during the winter months.

A post shared by on Jan 01, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

Health experts have been quick to refute the claims made by so-called social media influencers regarding perineum sunning, calling the practice unnecessary and probably unhealthy.

There is no evidence that sunbathing in this way has any effect on physical wellbeing,” Dr Diana Gall from Doctor-4-U told Insider. “Yes, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and getting your dose of Vitamin D, is beneficial for mental and physical health, but you don’t need to damage your skin in the process from sun exposure.”

[DemonGeminiX]

The fact that anyone would take this seriously is proof that we're doomed.

[Muddy]

Who wants to watch me tan my dirty onion ring?