Trump Bans TikTok After His First Video Gets 0 Views

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Babylon Bee




WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump has announced a ban of TikTok after his first video on the platform got zero views, sources confirmed Saturday.

Trump reportedly worked really hard at the video, recording over 70 takes until he found one he liked. In the video, Trump does an "excellent performance" of the Macarena. He was reportedly really proud of the video and so was crestfallen when he got no likes or views after a few minutes.

"It's obviously a dumb platform with only stupid people," he wrote on Twitter. "My video was clearly the best on the platform, and if America doesn't get that, then America doesn't deserve to use TikTok. People on there were doing the dumbest dances: the Renegade. That dumb 'na na na' song. No one was doing the classics. Whatever happened to the YMCA?"

No matter the reason he banned the app, Trump's approval rating shot up thirty points on the announcement.

[FBD]

Every bit of video that goes through TikTok, CCP gets a copy of. There's a reason why federal agencies were prohibited from its use quite a while ago.

[lost in melb.]

Every bit of video that goes through TikTok, CCP gets a copy of. There's a reason why federal agencies were prohibited from its use quite a while ago.

CCP can get a copy of any public video. Just saying

[FBD]

CCP can get a copy of any public video. Just saying

please draw a venn diagram of public vs private tiktok videos, then draw a circle around all of it and label it "what ccp has access to"

[Hikari Kisugi]

please draw a venn diagram of public vs private tiktok videos, then draw a circle around all of it and label it "what ccp has access to"

Not to go all conspiracy on it but do you not think most of the major govts could access most videos public or private, anyway?

[DemonGeminiX]

Don't you guys just love what living this online life has wrought?

[FBD]

Not to go all conspiracy on it but do you not think most of the major govts could access most videos public or private, anyway?

shiiiii, wasnt it me telling you guys about intel's backdoored chips? I understand that with the NSA's toolkit, pretty much nothing is safe, but that's no excuse to let china slide on an infiltration & contact tracing project-app