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Thread: Bat Boy Found in West Virginia Cave 30 Years Ago!!

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    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Mystery Bat Boy Found in West Virginia Cave 30 Years Ago!!

    Weekly World News Staff




    New York, NY – June 23, 2022 – Weekly World News (WWN) celebrates the 30th anniversary of its ground-breaking June 23, 1992 cover story “Bat Child Found In Cave.”

    WWN introduced the half-human, half-bat child to readers around the world, and its ongoing coverage has fostered a growing national movement to make June 23 an official National Bat Boy holiday! Weekly World News is celebrating the anniversary with a special tribute page.

    It all started in Pendleton County, West Virginia where Dr. Ron Dillon discovered this unique “creature,” who would become known as Bat Boy, living in a cave in the Allegheny Mountains.

    Explorers captured Bat Boy, who was living almost two miles underground. Weekly World News’ Bat Boy reporting went “viral,” spreading faster than any news story could in the days before the Internet and social media – it was a peaceful time.



    A WILD CHILD?!

    Scientists and reporters quickly learned that Bat Boy is a very skittish and elusive creature who is frequently on the run, often disappearing for extended periods of time.

    Bat Boy has been known to be quite tricky and unpredictable. He even managed to steal a vehicle and drive it at high speed, leading to a multi-state run with law enforcement in pursuit.

    When explorers discovered Bat Boy in Hellhole Cave, they estimated his age at around 10 years old. But further research has identified a genetic deformity that has locked Bat Boy is the very same age for the last 30 years. It seems Bat Boy will never age, however his intelligence and global interests continue to grow.

    Bat Boy has long demonstrated a keen interest in political and social issues which have thrust him into the limelight, as he has befriended and advised a range of U.S. Presidents and candidates for national office. Bat Boy’s political interests even led to an unsuccessful 2020 run for the U.S. Presidency. Close advisors admit that cryptid prejudices along with the candidate’s communications challenges and non-traditional demeanor posed major obstacles in the campaign.

    Dr. Ron Dillon, one of the foremost experts on Bat Boy, describes him as a “human-bat hybrid creature. His father was likely a bat or a creature heavily dominated by bat genomes, and his mother, Susan Boy, was a human being. We have since traced Susan’s ancestry to passengers on the Mayflower.”



    BAT BOY IS EVERYWHERE!

    Bat Boy’s life has been nothing short of a whirlwind. Weekly World News does its best to keep readers up to date on his comings and goings. In the years since his discovery, Bat Boy has met Travis Scott, Elvis, Nelson Mandela, Frank Sinatra, every living U.S. President. He is adored by most celebrities – though given his reclusive nature, very few have been lucky enough to meet him.

    In anticipation of his run for president, Bat Boy abandoned his pagan ways and converted to Judaism and then to every other religion, seeking to play a unifying role for all people under his “Right Wing AND Left Wing” platform. He’s also had a busy and sometimes stormy romantic life, dating Farrah Fawcett, Jennifer Lopez, Jean Kirkpatrick, Cher, Kim Kardashian and more recently, Taylor Swift, but never really settling down. Bat Boy has no known offspring.

    Bat Boy has become a reluctant cultural icon and national treasure, who savors hiding in plain sight. He has been a subject in numerous TV shows and films such as The Simpsons, American Dad, The Boys, 12 Monkeys and many others. When Bat Boy isn’t evading the paparazzi, law enforcement or government scientists, he apparently enjoys supporting his fans via surprise appearances in pop culture outlets.

    Recently, Bat Boy was knighted by Queen Elizabeth and blessed by Pope Francis, and there are growing rumors about another presidential run in 2024 under his healing right-wing, left-wing messages.

    SUPPORT NATIONAL BAT BOY DAY!

    Leaders of the Bat Boy holiday movement urge all supporters to contact their elected representatives to voice support for a National Holiday to honor Bat Boy and his achievements and to demonstrate support for cryptids of all shapes and sizes.

    Supporters also encourage Bat Boy-themed apparel, some of which is coincidently available in the WWN online store! There are rumors that Bat Boy will be biking with President Biden today, but with Bat Boy, one never really knows.

  2. #2
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
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    mr. michelle jenneke deebakes's Avatar
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    now i guess he must be batman

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    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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    how time flys






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