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Thread: redred's bad jokes

  1. #706
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
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    This thread is coming loose

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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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    Thanks. Taking an axe to this thread was an awe fell lot of work.

  4. #709
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    Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear?

    Now museum, now you don't

  5. #710
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    I started a band called 999 Megabytes

    We still haven't gotten a gig.

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  7. #711
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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

  8. #712
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    I was caught trying to escape from prison by my cellblock guard.

    He told me he's disappointed because I was well behaved and I didn't even check if I was tracked.

    I'll never let my guard down again.

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  10. #713
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    My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of a Ford F-150.

    He’s a pick-up artist.

  11. #714
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    My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday.

    I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.

  12. #715
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    In every koi pond of four or more, at least one is always fake.

    You’ve got koi’s A, B, C, and then the D koi.

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  14. #716
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    A lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

    The pharmacist was taken aback and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

    The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

    The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

    The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

    The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Oh well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

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  16. #717
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    The doctor said I had Gloria Gaynor Syndrome.

    At first I was afraid...

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  18. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teh One Who Knocks View Post
    The doctor said I had Gloria Gaynor Syndrome.

    At first I was afraid...
    You were petrified?


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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    Aliens come to earth and they're so nice and there's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

    The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

    The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

    The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!"

    The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?"

    The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything?"

    The alien says, "Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?

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  22. #720
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    What’s grey and not very important?

    An irrelephant

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