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Thread: redred's bad jokes

  1. #616
    Mr Magoo RBP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost in melb. View Post
    That really is just dumb
    Oh yeah? Well you're a doodoohead!
    I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.

  2. #617
    Space-age Hactivist lost in melb.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RBP View Post
    Oh yeah? Well you're a doodoohead!
    Insults matter nawt in this thread

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  4. #618
    Lying dog-faced pony soldier Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Before my surgery, the doctor offered to put me under using gas or a boat paddle. Seems that it was an ether/oar situation.

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  6. #619
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
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    LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Beer, Tacos and Queso



    A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.

    He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.

    He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."

    The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.

    As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.

    He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there, thousands and thousands of rats are following him.

    He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.

    The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".

    The guys says, "Nope, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"

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  8. #620
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. He looked at me and sneered and I thought, "Now that's a little condescending".


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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  10. #621
    Space-age Hactivist lost in melb.'s Avatar
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  11. #622
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
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  13. #623
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
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  15. #624
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
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    Talkin about dad jokes; Earlier while watching a show with elephants in it, I told my grand daughter they probably wouldn't have such rough skin if they went to a a pachydermatologist.

    ...it took her a few minutes.
    “Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
    ― George Burns

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  17. #625
    Space-age Hactivist lost in melb.'s Avatar
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    WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to the Christianity Today editorial calling for his removal, Trump called the magazine a “left-wing rag” and said, “I have done more for Christianity than Jesus.”


    “I mean, the name of the magazine is Christianity Today, and who is doing more for Christians today? Not Jesus. He disappeared; no one knows what happened to him. But I’m out there every day protecting churches from crazy liberals.”

    While Trump admitted that Jesus did do some things for Christianity in the past, Trump said he was doing more now and it was more substantial. “I’m appointing judges to help protect religious rights,” Trump stated. “How many judges has Jesus appointed? He says something about judging people in the future, but I ain’t seen it.”

    Furthermore, Trump asserted that he “saved Christmas.” “Look what I’ve done,” he said. “You can say 'Merry Christmas' now. In fact, if you say ‘Happy Holidays’ and don’t immediately make it clear you’re referring to Christmas, you go to prison. What has Jesus ever done for Christmas? Be born? He wants credit for that? Come on.”

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  19. #626
    Mr Magoo RBP's Avatar
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    I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.

  20. #627
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
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    “Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
    ― George Burns

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  22. #628
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    My washing machine is in need of repairs and out of commission, and I have a few pieces of clothing that needed to be washed, so I looked up on the web how to hand wash clothing. As according to the instructions, I filled a basin with lukewarm water, I added soap to the basin of water, and I put my dirty clothes in. The next step said to agitate the clothes, so I cussed at them and called them bad names.


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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  24. #629
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    There's a rumor that the coronavirus has made it to Mexico. I heard that they're pairing it with Lyme disease.


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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  26. #630
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