What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
A dirty double crosser.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
A dirty double crosser.
On most of these I couldn't decide if I wanted to cringe or laugh! So bad, so good!
What do you feed an invisible cat?
Evaporated milk.
In a particular small country, there was a king. He was much beloved of the people, and so they built for him a castle. But they were poor people and could only afford to build it out of grass. So they worked for weeks, and finally completed a lovely woven grass castle for him. And the king was pleased.
Another country, significantly richer than the first, presented a peace offering of an ornate throne. The king accepted this gift graciously and was most pleased. The only trouble was, the throne was very uncomfortable. So the king got himself a more comfortable chair and kept the massive throne in the attic. Naturally, it fell through the floor and killed him.
The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way -- unique up on him.
A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the lives of famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asks Sylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallone thinks for a moment and says, "I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."
The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'd like to play. Arnold replies, "I'll be Bach!"
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
no change is there....?...
they make me laugh
Why did the apple cry?
Its peelings were hurt.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
Nothing. He just let out a little wine.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Just between you and me, something smells down there.
What do you get when you combine a recliner with a fruit?
A chairy.