Page 42 of 50 FirstFirst ... 32 40 41 42 43 44 ... LastLast
Results 616 to 630 of 740

Thread: redred's bad jokes

  1. #616
    Mr Magoo RBP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    60,390
    vCash
    2000
    Mentioned
    185 Post(s)
    Thanks
    78,181
    Thanked 27,731 Times in 15,014 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by lost in melb. View Post
    That really is just dumb
    Oh yeah? Well you're a doodoohead!
    I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.

  2. #617
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    23,764
    vCash
    7596
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Thanks
    18,672
    Thanked 7,553 Times in 5,206 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RBP View Post
    Oh yeah? Well you're a doodoohead!
    Insults matter nawt in this thread

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to lost in melb. For This Useful Post:

    RBP (09-16-2019)

  4. #618
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    5280' Above Sea Level
    Posts
    256,044
    vCash
    10966
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Thanks
    23,810
    Thanked 113,085 Times in 59,902 Posts
    Before my surgery, the doctor offered to put me under using gas or a boat paddle. Seems that it was an ether/oar situation.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Teh One Who Knocks For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (08-29-2020), RBP (09-16-2019)

  6. #619
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Borneo
    Posts
    17,294
    vCash
    2000
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Thanks
    7,292
    Thanked 7,740 Times in 4,205 Posts

    LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Beer, Tacos and Queso



    A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.

    He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.

    He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."

    The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.

    As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.

    He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there, thousands and thousands of rats are following him.

    He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.

    The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".

    The guys says, "Nope, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"

  7. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Pony For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (07-28-2019), FBD (07-30-2020), KevinD (07-25-2019), RBP (01-11-2020)

  8. #620
    Take Box B DemonGeminiX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Bum Fuck Egypt, East Jabip
    Posts
    64,804
    vCash
    27021
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Thanks
    45,041
    Thanked 16,892 Times in 11,967 Posts
    Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. He looked at me and sneered and I thought, "Now that's a little condescending".


    Warning: The posts of this forum member may contain trigger language which may be considered offensive to some.

    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DemonGeminiX For This Useful Post:

    Pony (08-29-2019), RBP (09-16-2019)

  10. #621
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    23,764
    vCash
    7596
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Thanks
    18,672
    Thanked 7,553 Times in 5,206 Posts

  11. #622
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Borneo
    Posts
    17,294
    vCash
    2000
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Thanks
    7,292
    Thanked 7,740 Times in 4,205 Posts

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Pony For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (01-11-2020), lost in melb. (09-16-2019), RBP (09-16-2019), teabelly (09-26-2019)

  13. #623
    Hal killed Tormund! Pony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Borneo
    Posts
    17,294
    vCash
    2000
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Thanks
    7,292
    Thanked 7,740 Times in 4,205 Posts

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pony For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (01-11-2020), RBP (01-11-2020)

  15. #624
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    9,477
    vCash
    1000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    4,213
    Thanked 7,023 Times in 3,854 Posts
    Talkin about dad jokes; Earlier while watching a show with elephants in it, I told my grand daughter they probably wouldn't have such rough skin if they went to a a pachydermatologist.

    ...it took her a few minutes.

  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Griffin For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (01-11-2020), lost in melb. (01-11-2020), Pony (09-26-2019), RBP (01-11-2020)

  17. #625
    Shelter Dweller lost in melb.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    23,764
    vCash
    7596
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Thanks
    18,672
    Thanked 7,553 Times in 5,206 Posts
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to the Christianity Today editorial calling for his removal, Trump called the magazine a “left-wing rag” and said, “I have done more for Christianity than Jesus.”


    “I mean, the name of the magazine is Christianity Today, and who is doing more for Christians today? Not Jesus. He disappeared; no one knows what happened to him. But I’m out there every day protecting churches from crazy liberals.”

    While Trump admitted that Jesus did do some things for Christianity in the past, Trump said he was doing more now and it was more substantial. “I’m appointing judges to help protect religious rights,” Trump stated. “How many judges has Jesus appointed? He says something about judging people in the future, but I ain’t seen it.”

    Furthermore, Trump asserted that he “saved Christmas.” “Look what I’ve done,” he said. “You can say 'Merry Christmas' now. In fact, if you say ‘Happy Holidays’ and don’t immediately make it clear you’re referring to Christmas, you go to prison. What has Jesus ever done for Christmas? Be born? He wants credit for that? Come on.”

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to lost in melb. For This Useful Post:

    RBP (01-11-2020)

  19. #626
    Mr Magoo RBP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    60,390
    vCash
    2000
    Mentioned
    185 Post(s)
    Thanks
    78,181
    Thanked 27,731 Times in 15,014 Posts
    I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.

  20. #627
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    9,477
    vCash
    1000
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Thanks
    4,213
    Thanked 7,023 Times in 3,854 Posts

  21. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Griffin For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (01-21-2020), RBP (01-11-2020)

  22. #628
    Take Box B DemonGeminiX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Bum Fuck Egypt, East Jabip
    Posts
    64,804
    vCash
    27021
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Thanks
    45,041
    Thanked 16,892 Times in 11,967 Posts
    My washing machine is in need of repairs and out of commission, and I have a few pieces of clothing that needed to be washed, so I looked up on the web how to hand wash clothing. As according to the instructions, I filled a basin with lukewarm water, I added soap to the basin of water, and I put my dirty clothes in. The next step said to agitate the clothes, so I cussed at them and called them bad names.


    Warning: The posts of this forum member may contain trigger language which may be considered offensive to some.

    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

  23. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DemonGeminiX For This Useful Post:

    FBD (07-30-2020), KevinD (05-04-2020), RBP (01-28-2020)

  24. #629
    Take Box B DemonGeminiX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Bum Fuck Egypt, East Jabip
    Posts
    64,804
    vCash
    27021
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Thanks
    45,041
    Thanked 16,892 Times in 11,967 Posts
    There's a rumor that the coronavirus has made it to Mexico. I heard that they're pairing it with Lyme disease.


    Warning: The posts of this forum member may contain trigger language which may be considered offensive to some.

    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DemonGeminiX For This Useful Post:

    FBD (07-30-2020), RBP (01-28-2020)

  26. #630
    Dilly dilly Goofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    On the oche
    Posts
    52,011
    vCash
    5200
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Thanks
    6,061
    Thanked 13,156 Times in 6,846 Posts

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •