redred's bad jokes

[Teh One Who Knocks]

A priest goes to see his Bishop and asks if he would hear his confession.

“Of course,” the Bishop said and took out his rosary. “And what do you have to confess?”

“Well Your Grace I used profane language,” the priest says, shifting a bit in obvious embarrassment.

“I understand,” the Bishop says. “And under what circumstance did you use the profanity?”

“Well Your Grace I was playing golf and I stepped up to the tee on a par four and I hit what is probably the best drive of my life. Long and straight as an arrow,” the priest replied.

“Well surely there was no cause to blaspheme then?” the Bishop said with a frown.

“Well no,” the priest said, “but as it flew down the fairway it hit an overhead wire and dropped down only a hundred yards away.”

“Ah,” said the Bishop. “So that’s when you blasphemed.”

“No Your Grace,” the priest said. “You see when it hit the ground a gopher popped up, grabbed the ball and started running away with it toward the woods.”

“Oh so that is what made you curse,” the Bishop said with a nod.

“No Your Grace because just as he was about to get to the woods a great owl swooped down and grabbed him in his talons and started to fly away.”

“Okay so that is when you used a profanity,” The Bishop said.

“No sir, you see as the owl flew off with the gopher, the gopher dropped the ball from the sky and it landed on the green and rolled to just two feet away from the hole.”

The Bishop looked at the priest carefully and said, “You missed the fucking putt didn’t you?”