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Thread: redred's bad jokes

  1. #646
    Look Into My Eyes DemonGeminiX's Avatar
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    I got fired from my job at the bank the other day. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.


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    Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

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  3. #647
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Doctor: “Hello, sir. I’m calling from the hospital. Your wife has been brought in for a full examination, after a bad car accident.”

    Me: “Oh my! That’s terrible! How is she behaving now?”

    Doctor: “Sorry to report, but I am afraid she's CRITICAL...”

    Me: “Oh, okay! Don’t worry about it...You’ll eventually get used to that...”

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    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  7. #649
    Lying dog-faced pony soldier Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    A priest goes golfing with his sailor buddy one day..

    The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "Fuck, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don't use that kind of language or god will strike you down."

    The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I fucking missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don't use that language or god will strike you down."

    The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn't help mutter, "Oh fuck, I missed". The priest said, "That's it god will certainly strike you down."

    Suddenly, the skies darkened, thunder boomed and a bolt of lightning came down...but it hit the priest. From the heavens a deep voice said, "Oh fuck, I missed".

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