I was teaching a group of muslim students how to line dance yesterday......
They seemed to be doing alright until the fucking train hit them!
I was teaching a group of muslim students how to line dance yesterday......
They seemed to be doing alright until the fucking train hit them!
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
The French want to ban Burkas.
They've obviously never seen a fucking Muslim woman without one!
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
Be careful if you go out driving today, driving conditions are awful! Ive just come off the road and hit a muslim!!
It took me 10 minutes, 2 fields and a golf course, but I got the fucker!!
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
Child walks in on his farther taking a shower......
Child: (pointing at farthers privates) Daddy whats that?
Farther: Its a ....erm.....a...hedgehog!
Child: A hedgehog??? well its got a massive knob on it eh?
My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as an Asda greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I said pleasantly, ' Good morning and welcome to Asda.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work .
I find that at any time the temptation to sing "The Lion sleeps tonight" Is never more than a whim away
I Bet Osama Bin Laden regrets filling in that census form now.
Originally Posted by redred
They don't get any better do they........
Not at all
oh come on you laughed at that loin sleeps tonight joke didn't you
Paddy and Murphy walk out of the zoo, blood pouring everywhere. Paddy says to Murphy . . that's the last time i go lion dancing!
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
The bank manager refused to give me a loan to start my new pig cleaning business.
He said it was hogwash.
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
Submitted my mates jimmy and alan to that online car valuation website.
Fucking liars - seems like they don't buy any Carr.
They say that life's a carousel, Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well. The world is full of Kings and Queens, Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
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