Originally Posted by redred
I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.
How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, a beaver, an unknown amount of hares and a dead fish nobody can find!
LMAO!
Awesome sig by fricnjay!!!
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
took the missus to the doctor's as she had a golfball stuck up her rectum, he said feck me thats up a fairway
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a
vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death
I saw an old mate today and I asked him
"What are you up to nowadays?"
He said "I prepare meals for Druggies, the Homeless and Pissheads"
I said " Wow are you working in a Charity centre then?"
He replied " Nah I'm a Chef at Wetherspoons"
I no longer see my Wife & Kids, and its all because of Gambling! I Won loads of money and moved to Spain!
Police have rearrested Gary Glitter at his home. They found some class A in his kitchen, some class B in the bathroom and class 5C in his bedroom
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they
drive slowly past schools
I went to the optician this morning and was astonished to be diagnosed with colour blindness.
It came like a bolt out of the green
I've been dating a homeless woman recently. I think it's getting serious, she's asked me to move out with her.
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