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Thread: redred's bad jokes

  1. #31
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
    A dirty double crosser.

  2. #32
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redred View Post
    A frog named Kermit Jagger goes to a bank to get a loan. He talks to a teller named Patty Mack. Patty asks the frog what he has for collateral. The frog pulls out a small figurine, but Patty says, "I'm sorry, that's just a cheap knick knack." The bank manager had been walking by at the time and overheard the conversation. Looking over, he said, "This figurine is three hundred years old -- it's priceless. That's no knick knack, Patty Mack, give that frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

  3. #33
    The Monarch's Love Kitten Dr. Girlfriend's Avatar
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    On most of these I couldn't decide if I wanted to cringe or laugh! So bad, so good!

  4. #34
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    What do you feed an invisible cat?
    Evaporated milk.

  5. #35
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    In a particular small country, there was a king. He was much beloved of the people, and so they built for him a castle. But they were poor people and could only afford to build it out of grass. So they worked for weeks, and finally completed a lovely woven grass castle for him. And the king was pleased.

    Another country, significantly richer than the first, presented a peace offering of an ornate throne. The king accepted this gift graciously and was most pleased. The only trouble was, the throne was very uncomfortable. So the king got himself a more comfortable chair and kept the massive throne in the attic. Naturally, it fell through the floor and killed him.

    The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones

  6. #36
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on him.

  7. #37
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    The tame way -- unique up on him.

  8. #38
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the lives of famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asks Sylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallone thinks for a moment and says, "I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."

    The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'd like to play. Arnold replies, "I'll be Bach!"

  9. #39
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
    A buck an ear.

  10. #40
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    no change is there....?...

  11. #41
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    they make me laugh

  12. #42
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    Why did the apple cry?
    Its peelings were hurt.

  13. #43
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
    Nothing. He just let out a little wine.

  14. #44
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    What did the left eye say to the right eye?
    Just between you and me, something smells down there.

  15. #45
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    What do you get when you combine a recliner with a fruit?
    A chairy.

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