redred's bad jokes

[Hal-9000]

Paddy is going really well on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He's got to £125,000 with all his lifelines.

Chris: OK Paddy, for £250,000 which of the following was one of the Great Train Robbers was it:

Ronnie Biggs
Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie Corbett
Ronnie Wood

Take your time

Paddy: I'll take the money Chris

Chris: Are you sure, you've still got 3 lifelines

Paddy: I'm sure Chris,I'll take the money

Chris: OK audience give him a big round of applause, but before you go Paddy I'm sure you'd like to know the answer.

Paddy: I know the answer Chris.

Chris: You know the answer? You've just turned down a quarter of a million quid, are you mad? are you mental?

Paddy: I may be mental Chris but I'm no feckin grass.

does feckin grass mean, to tell on someone?

[Goofy]

does feckin grass mean, to tell on someone?

Yep

[redred]

[Hal-9000]

Yep

: delayed :

[Hal-9000]

[redred]

[Goofy]

We always used to ask dad why he refused to pay the electric bill.

However, he decided it's best we're kept in the dark.

[Goofy]

Oxo are planning to put a joke on each cube, they are becoming a laughing stock.

[Goofy]

The highlight of my trip to the zoo was seeing an antelope

I'd never seen an insect get married before

[The Monk]

Damn!!! I don't know who's worse!!

[The Monk]

Need an ark? I Noah guy !

[The Monk]

Just bought a pair of velcro shoes. What a rip off.

[The Monk]

Bloke goes to the doctors with a golf ball stuck up his arse, the doctor takes a look and says "Fuck me, that's gone up a fairway!!"

[Pony]

Q: What do men and women have in common?
A: Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.

[The Monk]

They're holding a nudist convention in town next week.

I might go if I've got nothing on.