What do we want?
Race car noises!
When do we want them?
Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwww
What do we want?
Race car noises!
When do we want them?
Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwww
Red sky at night...... Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night........ Day
Two gay men are travelling on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill.
"Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve.
"You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."
"Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"
Steve stands up and asks loudly: "Could I have a pencil, please?"
Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc.
"They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bill.
So Steve and Bill have wild sex on the plane.
Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the stewardess sees an old man who threw up all over his shirt, even his pants are soaking in the filth.
"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!"
"I didn't dare" whispers the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass..."
DemonGeminiX (11-03-2015), RBP (09-24-2015), The Monk (09-05-2015)
White guy goes to prison.
To his dismay, he's put in a cell with a very large black man. After a few moments of silence, the black man says in a deep, booming voice, "There's one thing we gotta get straight right now if we're gonna be in this cell together. We gots to figure out who's gonna be the husband and who's gonna be the wife. I'll let you decide."
The white guy is shaken, and thinks for a moment through all of the ramifications of his decision. Finally he says, "Okay, I'll be the husband."
The black guys says, "That's fine with me. Now get over here and suck yo wife's dick."
DemonGeminiX (06-02-2016), FBD (07-19-2016), RBP (07-20-2016), The Monk (12-12-2015)
Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Hahahahaha!
Warning: The posts of this forum member may contain trigger language which may be considered offensive to some.
Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.
I saw my dwarf neighbor at a bus stop, "Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.
"Fuck off" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
DemonGeminiX (06-02-2016), FBD (07-19-2016), Fodster (04-19-2016), RBP (07-20-2016), redred (04-19-2016), richard3280 (04-18-2016), The Monk (06-02-2016)
RBP (07-20-2016)
DemonGeminiX (06-10-2016)
A woman goes to her gynecologist.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked her doctor.
"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my Vagina."
The doctor had a look, then chuckled before she said,
"Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas...
..
DemonGeminiX (06-10-2016), FBD (07-19-2016), Fodster (06-11-2016), RBP (07-20-2016)
A bit of humor to help you through the week. A piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and says"I'll fight anyone in here! Who wants a fight? "But nobody replies, so the piece of black tarmac sits down at the table.Then, a piece of red tarmac walks into a bar and says "I'll fight anyone, anyone at all! Who wants a beating? "The piece of black tarmac stays absolutely silent, sipping on a martini he just ordered.The piece of red tarmac sits down at a different table.The barman goes up to the piece of black tarmac, and says"Why didn't you say anything? I thought you wanted a fight? The piece of black tarmac replies"I wouldn't mess with him, he's a cyclepath.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
RBP (07-20-2016)
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