redred's bad jokes

[DemonGeminiX]

Why do atheists have trouble with exponents?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

[DemonGeminiX]

Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?

It was over 90 degrees.

[DemonGeminiX]

A butcher at a butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears a size 10 shoe. What does he weigh?

 

Meat

[DemonGeminiX]

If two's company and three's a crowd, what are four and five?

 

Nine

[DemonGeminiX]

Have you heard the latest statistics joke?

Probably.

[DemonGeminiX]

What are ten things you can count on?

 

Your fingers

[deebakes]

cletus disagrees

[lost in melb.]

What are ten things you can count on?

 

Your fingers

When the great Apocalypse comes, remind me not to take shelter with you.

[lost in melb.]

A butcher at a butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears a size 10 shoe. What does he weigh?

 

Meat

[Pony]

Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’
Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’
Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’
Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Yes.’
Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’
Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’
Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’
Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’
Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’
Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look, I’m not sick.’
Bud: ‘Ok.’
Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’
Bud: ‘That’s right.’
Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Certainly.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’
Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’
Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’
Bud: ‘That’s fine.’
Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’
Bud: ‘Absolutely not.’
Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’
Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’
Bud: ‘I know.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ... If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’
Bud: ‘Take it easy buddy.’
Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’
Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’
Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’
Bud: ‘Correct.’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’
Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’
Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’
Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work!’
Bud: ‘Masks work quite well.’
Lou: ‘So how in the heck can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’

[DemonGeminiX]

Two fish are swimming beside each other down a river, when all of a sudden they run into a wall.

One fish goes to the other, "Dam".

[PorkChopSandwiches]

[The Monk]

Two fish are swimming beside each other down a river, when all of a sudden they run into a wall.

One fish goes to the other, "Dam".

[lost in melb.]

I feel like he's improving

[DemonGeminiX]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender leans over and says, "Hey, why the long face?"