What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
Half a cat.
What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
Half a cat.
What's red and orange and looks good on hippies?
Fire.
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
A: One, but you have to throw it really hard.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die?
A: Because the koala landed on it.
How do you get a goth out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Q: What did the deaf dumb blind kid get for christmas
A: A pinball machine
Q: Whats black and blue and scared of me
A: The 8 year old in my closet
Q: What's the difference between an abo bloke and a park bench?
A: A park bench can support a family.
I met a girl last week who said she wanted to be treated like a princess, so I put her in the back of a mercedes and drove it into a tunnel wall.
Q: What do you do if you see a paki run at you with half a head?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
Today's Ebonics Word of the Day from the Public School System:
Omelette
Let's use it in a sentence:
"I should pop a cap in yo ass fo' what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of babies?
You can't empty the truck of bowling balls with a pitchfork
I saw a woman in the supermarket, struggling to control her kids. She looked really stressed. Then she accidently knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk.
She dropped to her knees and burst into tears, surrounded by spilled milk. It reminded me of something my dad used to say to my mum, so I walked over to her and said;
"Get a fucking grip, you stupid bitch."