Post a random picture

[KevinD]

You lol, but I actually almost downloaded that once...

[The Monk]

[Teh One Who Knocks]

[DemonGeminiX]

He has a page on Amazon. Other titles include: The Baby Jesus Buttplug. Every Time We Meet At the Dairy Queen Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes, and the Faggiest Vampire.

If this guy can make money writing, then I should start and easily became a NY Times best seller.

[Griffin]

A pianist responds to an ad for a Piano Player wanted at a swanky bar. The manager interviewing him asks the pianist to play something.

The pianist plays and sings, and it's beautiful. The manager is really impressed. The pianist admits that he wrote and composed it himself. The manager asks what the song is called and the pianist replies, "Fuck you and your mother, you shit eating whore".

Clearly upset by the title of the song, the manager attempts to regain his composure and asks the pianist, "um, do you know any other songs?"

The pianist starts right in on the most beautiful piece the manager had ever heard, and by the time the pianist finished, the manager had tears in his eyes.

Afraid to ask, the manager asked what that one was called. The pianist said it was one of the first songs he ever wrote, and it was called "Suck my hairy white ass, you commie fuck!"

Clearly impressed with the skill of the pianist but fearful for the effect the song titles might have on his business the manager makes a deal with the player.

"I will hire you, and pay you with $100 bar tab per night and 5% of the door, but you're not allowed to tell anyone what your songs are called."

The pianist agrees, just happy to have a gig.

So he's playing the first night, really enjoying himself, drinking for free and all of the patrons are enjoying the music as well. At some point, very drunk, the pianist needs to go relieve himself so takes a break from playing.

When he returns from the bathroom, a beautiful woman approaches him and quietly asks him, "Do you know your zippers open and your dick is hanging out ?"

The piano player's eyes get wide, and he excitedly replies, "Know it!? I fucking wrote it!"

[Teh One Who Knocks]

[Teh One Who Knocks]

[RBP]

Satan

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Satan

Right?!?! Who the fuck eats pizza that way?

[RBP]

Right?!?! Who the fuck eats pizza that way?

I already told you. Satan. Jesus, can you read?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I already told you. Satan. Jesus, can you read?

[Muddy]

I eat pizza with a knife and fork all the time in a restaurant.. It's the only way I can start munching immediately and not turn the entire roof of my mouth into a giant blister...

[Teh One Who Knocks]

I eat pizza with a knife and fork all the time in a restaurant.. It's the only way I can start munching immediately and not turn the entire roof of my mouth into a giant blister...

Do you eat it from the middle like that heathen?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

[Muddy]

Do you eat it from the middle like that heathen?

That, I do not...