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Its a small world after a
Sheldon Cooper-isms
Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Penny: Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!
Sheldon: It took you FOUR YEARS to get through high school!
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: Oh, Mario. How I wish I could control everyone the way I can with you? [Presses buttons frantically]
Sheldon: Hop, you little plumber! Hop, hop, hop!
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: Of all the women Leonard has dated, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: What about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands by itself.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se – that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be, my C-men.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: At my age do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Rajesh: Why so glum, chum?
Sheldon: Apparently you can't hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
Amy: I'm listening.
Sheldon: With the understanding that nothing changes what so ever - physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
Amy: Interesting, now try it without the quadruple negative.
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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Its a small world after a
Sheldon: Is my hamburger medium-well?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Dill slices not sweet?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Individual relish packets?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Onion rings?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Extra-breading?
Leonard: I asked.
Sheldon: What did they say?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Did you protest?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Vociferously?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, then what took you so long?
Originally Posted by
PorkChopSandwiches
fuck you whitey
Originally Posted by
Southern Belle
Exactly.
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transracial
the man is a legend
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