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Thread: I'm buying a house!

  1. #646
    aka TheInvisibleMan Griffin's Avatar
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    A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment".

    So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "She's a nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

    "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

    "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"

    Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground....and says "How's that you sick little perverted SOB?"

    The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that;

    Can I thee her Galwaup.

  2. #647
    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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  3. #648
    Dilly dilly Goofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Cranium View Post
    A horse you say?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    a horse?
    Quote Originally Posted by deebakes View Post
    who bought a horse now?
    Someone mustve edited the thread title.............

  4. #649
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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  5. #650
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    After all I went thru to buy this fucking house, the ups, the downs, the time and effort and everything...all my dad does is go thru the place pointing out flaws in the house and bitching about everything from the layout of the house to the appliances.


    I'm just ready to

  6. #651
    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    Beat his assss...

  7. #652
    weapon of mass consumption redred's Avatar
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    old people don't like change he'll come round

  8. #653
    Sisukas Jezter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tehlancinator View Post
    After all I went thru to buy this fucking house, the ups, the downs, the time and effort and everything...all my dad does is go thru the place pointing out flaws in the house and bitching about everything from the layout of the house to the appliances.


    I'm just ready to
    Dude, that fucking sucks ass... I mean, that is just so unfair and wrong. I hope you can just fight through it cuz...
    Quote Originally Posted by redred View Post
    old people don't like change he'll come round
    ...this is what will happen. He'll come around.

  9. #654
    transracial Hal-9000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tehlancinator View Post
    After all I went thru to buy this fucking house, the ups, the downs, the time and effort and everything...all my dad does is go thru the place pointing out flaws in the house and bitching about everything from the layout of the house to the appliances.


    I'm just ready to

    Buy a 10 x 10 shed from Costco and keep referring to it as the bachelor pad

  10. #655
    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tehlancinator View Post
    After all I went thru to buy this fucking house, the ups, the downs, the time and effort and everything...all my dad does is go thru the place pointing out flaws in the house and bitching about everything from the layout of the house to the appliances.


    I'm just ready to
    Refuse to change his diaper






  11. #656
    21-Jazz hands salute Muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PorkChopSandwiches View Post
    Refuse to change his diaper
    God damn!

  12. #657
    Shelter Dweller PorkChopSandwiches's Avatar
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  13. #658
    Dilly dilly Goofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tehlancinator View Post
    Apologies, didn't realise your sense of humour was on holiday

  14. #659
    #DeSantis2024 Teh One Who Knocks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goofy View Post
    Apologies, didn't realise your sense of humour was on holiday
    Sorry, didn't realize that I'm not allowed to have a bad day and that I need to be chipper 24/7

  15. #660
    nobody Richard Cranium's Avatar
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    Buy your dad a horse
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson

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