Checking In/Checking Out Version 1.0

[Goofy]

Little Balvenie huh. I like that Doublewood. Its not half bad.

Tbh i think i prefer the doublewood to the caribbean cask....... the c.c. is just a bit too fruity/flowery i think

Pffffft.....doublewood......I have quadruplewood, it's twice as good

Non-Scotch drinkers do not get an opinion.

Yeah, I get an opinion, scotch sucks

[Teh One Who Knocks]

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Update on my dad: the last several times now that I have been to visit, he doesn't talk much and when he does, he's super hard to understand. Now that the 'mandatory' therapy stuff is done, it's obvious he doesn't work on his speech at all, or anything else for that matter. He never leaves his room, yet he complains how boring it is there. We had bought him a laptop to use, but a few weeks ago during a visit, it looks like he fucked it up, probably by dropping it on the floor somehow, so there was $400 wasted because he refused to ask someone for help for something. He isn't eating very much and last week when I stopped in to visit, the social worker for the facility caught me and said my dad rarely eats much. They had been giving him protein supplements because he hasn't been eating, but now he's refusing those too. And he won't take any anti-depressant medication or anything like that. The social worker said that it appears that he's just waiting to die.

And of course all this makes me feel awesome, here I am getting married in less than 2 months and all my dad cares about is complaining to me about being bored and waiting to die.

It absolutely wears me out when I go and visit him now. It's just so emotionally draining because he isn't trying. And by the comments he makes when I go and visit, he makes me feel guilty. The g/f hates when I stop in and see him by myself because I'm always in such a depressed mood afterwards. I don't know what to do anymore.

[PorkChopSandwiches]

Thats tough, not much you can do I would imagine

[fricnjay]

How old is he Lance?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

He'll be 76 in June...if he gets that far

[Goofy]

Update on my dad: the last several times now that I have been to visit, he doesn't talk much and when he does, he's super hard to understand. Now that the 'mandatory' therapy stuff is done, it's obvious he doesn't work on his speech at all, or anything else for that matter. He never leaves his room, yet he complains how boring it is there. We had bought him a laptop to use, but a few weeks ago during a visit, it looks like he fucked it up, probably by dropping it on the floor somehow, so there was $400 wasted because he refused to ask someone for help for something. He isn't eating very much and last week when I stopped in to visit, the social worker for the facility caught me and said my dad rarely eats much. They had been giving him protein supplements because he hasn't been eating, but now he's refusing those too. And he won't take any anti-depressant medication or anything like that. The social worker said that it appears that he's just waiting to die.

And of course all this makes me feel awesome, here I am getting married in less than 2 months and all my dad cares about is complaining to me about being bored and waiting to die.

It absolutely wears me out when I go and visit him now. It's just so emotionally draining because he isn't trying. And by the comments he makes when I go and visit, he makes me feel guilty. The g/f hates when I stop in and see him by myself because I'm always in such a depressed mood afterwards. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry mate, that sucks

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Thanks mate.

Yesterday I went to go visit him and it turns out I shouldn't have, because even though I make time in my day to go and visit him 2 or 3 times a week, he always finds a way to make me feel like shit, especially when it's just me that is there to visit.

I stop in yesterday (this is of course after working 11 hours that day, and I went straight to the home, didn't go home and shower or change or stop to eat) and he's stuck in a corner in his wheelchair and can't get to where he wants to be. So I help him after he tells me where he wants to be. I bring up a few things that I think might interest him and he says a few things, but for the most part, he just sits there in silence. He then asks a little later to move him again so he can see the TV, so I help him with that and he proceeds to just watch TV instead of trying to engage in any conversation. I say a few things here and there and get one and two word answers. So, since there's no extra chairs in the room, I stand there for about 35 minutes with him, mostly in silence, while he watches TV. It's now getting to be about 4:30, I'm tired, I want to shower and change, I am starving, and the g/f will be home from work soon, so I tell him that I better get going (I've been there with him for about 35 minutes, again, mostly in silence). I go to give him a hug and tell him I love him when he says "god forbid you stay longer than a half hour". I ignore the comment and hug him and tell him I'll see him again soon.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Stand there for an hour while he sits in silence? 2 hours? Maybe he forgets that I work all day and I also have a family to go home to? Maybe if he wanted me to visit longer he shouldn't go out of his way to be an ass and make it uncomfortable when I go to visit? I already feel guilty enough about him being in a home and not visiting more often, but when I do go an visit, especially when it's just me, he says things that make me feel like shit.

[Goofy]

Not a lot you can do tbh, he sounds like a stubborn old bugger (just like my dad). If he doesnt realise by now that he needs to be in there then he never will

[Goofy]

We're all off to the boss's mums funeral in a bit....... cant say im looking forward to it

[Teh One Who Knocks]

Not a lot you can do tbh, he sounds like a stubborn old bugger (just like my dad). If he doesnt realise by now that he needs to be in there then he never will

I know, but it's just depressing, and I already have enough stress going on in my life, I really don't need him to make me feel guiltier than I already do.

[Teh One Who Knocks]

We're all off to the boss's mums funeral in a bit....... cant say im looking forward to it

Yeah, that sucks....later mate

[fricnjay]

So is it out of the question to verbalize how you feel or will that just cause more problems?

[Teh One Who Knocks]

If I say anything, it will just exacerbate the situation, and it's depressing/bad enough to deal with already

[RBP]

That's hard, Lance. Sorry to hear it's been rough so far.