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Thread: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

  1. #1
    Mr Magoo RBP's Avatar
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    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.



    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities,
    raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's Answer:

    · Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    · What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

    · Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    · Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

    · Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    · Could we run away?

    · What does my wife think?

    · What about the kids?

    · Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    · What does the law say about this situation?

    · Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    · Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    · Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    · Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    · If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    · Should I call 9-1-1?

    · Why is this street so deserted?

    · We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

    · Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    · I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    · This is all so confusing!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!
    I wanted to be a Monk, but I never got the chants.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RBP For This Useful Post:

    DemonGeminiX (01-25-2013), FBD (01-25-2013)

  3. #2
    Forever Alone! Loser's Avatar
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    Well... Who knew, born and raised in chicago, and I'm a southerner

    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    I already have your name on my butthole...too bad the tattoo artist couldn't spell
    Looser
    Quote Originally Posted by Hal-9000 View Post
    murder my ass..shove it up my ass....both are beautiful terms of endearment

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