Wiffle Ball? Freeze Tag? No way, too dangerous!

[Loser]

My friends and I would get together every sunday and play full contact football. Most people left bleeding or bruised. We would get together every 4th of july and have bottle rocket wars, shooting bottle rockets and roman candles at one another from homemade tubes. I've broken every finger on both hands AT LEAST twice. Over 500 stitches, 100 staples, numerous casts for broken bones, and god only knows how many other injuries.

And I don't regret any of it.

It's all part of growning up and being stupid. People will NEVER know their limits until they test them, and people who are to afraid to test them, never get anywhere in life unless its handed to them on a silver fucking platter.

If you were picked last for dodge ball, have the hand eye coordination of a quadriplegic, and couldn't dodge a god damned tree if it was magically coming at you, well guess what.. Get ready to take some balls to the face, your nothing more then a meat shield.

If you some how manage to get seriously injured playing with a wiffle ball set, I've got some bad news for you. Your a future darwin award winner.

If you're always "IT" while playing tag, lose some fucking weight fatty.

And if you somehow, through magical mystical reasons, fail at motherfucking red rover......Please, for the love of god, DO NOT PROCREATE! There's enough idiots on this planet.

And this is called a Lawn Dart. Wtf is a Jart? Also, I had one of these go into my foot from about 30 feet in the air. Still have the dot on the top of my fucking foot.

[Godfather]

Over 500 stitches, 100 staples

Well that's a little funny ... I had a good childhood of playing hockey, and being athletic but you sound like a nutter man



I miss firecracker fights. Bottlerockets and mighty-mights are banned in Canada but we used to find older kids who got them from the US and sold them and Roman Candles at ridiculous prices to pre-teens. Many Halloweens there would be a 'firecracker war' up on the elementary school grounds. It was awesome.


... I still want to believe to some degree this 'no wiffle ball' nonsense is isolated and rare. I visit my little cousins all the time... they run around in the freezing cold and pouring rain long after dark playing tag, and dammed if they don't drag me out there to play too. Them and their buddies are good kids who play hard and respect their parents. I hope things don't change for the wussier as rapidly as it sometimes feels they will

[Muddy]

And this is called a Lawn Dart. Wtf is a Jart? Also, I had one of these go into my foot from about 30 feet in the air. Still have the dot on the top of my fucking foot.

I believe Jarts were the original mass distributed lawn dart on the market..

[KevinD]

I did it like this,
I did it like that,
I did it with a wiffle ball bat, so...

[Acid Trip]

Fuck that, who ever heard of a kid getting seriously injured even by a wiffle ball to the face.

I can't wait til I'm 40-45 and I've got a bunch of snot nosed over protected bitches working for me. I will make their lives hell on earth.

Hell even a kickball or dodge ball to the face only stings for a minute.

[Hal-9000]

Really? How will this generation grow up? I guess I'll send my kids to mat camp - where they sit on a mat and stare at a wall for 6 hrs

don't forget their helmets

[MrsM]

don't forget their helmets

I had them glued on so they wouldn't forget them

[Hal-9000]

I had them glued on so they wouldn't forget them

You're not worried that all that sitting may give the children MSONTA disorder?






*mat sores on their asses

[MrsM]

Yikes - I never thought of that - I better write my MP and get mats baned as sitting devices. Thanks Hal - you may have saved my kids asses

[Hal-9000]

Yikes - I never thought of that - I better write my MP and get mats baned as sitting devices. Thanks Hal - you may have saved my kids asses

Have you ever considered what kind of stress a child is put under when staring at the wall for 6 hours????

Better get them some eye exams as well.....good Lord you're like Cinderella's stepsisters you big brute

[Hal-9000]

*secretly wishes MrsM was his Mom*

om nom nom nom nom let me suckle

[MrsM]

Have you ever considered what kind of stress a child is put under when staring at the wall for 6 hours????

Better get them some eye exams as well.....good Lord you're like Cinderella's stepsisters you big brute

*secretly wishes MrsM was his Mom*

om nom nom nom nom let me suckle

At first I was then thought then you need to at least buy me flowers

[Hal-9000]

To make it appropriately weird....next month I'll get you flowers, a nice Mother's Day card and some crotchless panties...



(and I'll increase my therapy sessions to 3 x week)

[MrsM]

To make it appropriately weird....next month I'll get you flowers, a nice Mother's Day card and some crotchless panties...

(and I'll increase my therapy sessions to 3 x week)

You really know how to sweet talk a lady Hal

[Hal-9000]

I have a school to help guys with dating issues....it's called Hal's School of Smooooth







* sings the single for life song *