Hello everyone

[Muddy]

'Hals Hole' (in the WTF section) has become a place thats filled with lots of ChiGung and positive spirituality.. You should check it out..

[Goofy]

[PorkChopSandwiches]

And how

[Noilly Pratt]

haha...the USA is fucked. I had to stop giving a shit.

*Announcer's Voice*

Welcome to the Ride To Hell - here is your handbasket...

Welcome back FBD

Love the CIA reference, Hal.

[FBD]

I will be glad when all of this fucked up energetic shit stops happening and I can settle myself. With this situation going on and my not having put forth enough effort in my cultivation efforts, its been a challenge to remain centered, I've had this whacked out energetic shit wind itself through all of my internal organs, bones, heart, you name it. a few times it felt like my spleen was going to explode. times my kidneys felt like they were being juiced like fkn lemons...felt my liver glowing green-hot and pushing shit around...felt like I was hanging from a meat hook into the inside of my sternum for like a month straight, that turned into this red fucking burning ember in the middle of my chest that had this powerful vortex like aspect of it...I eventually dissolved that into what felt like a big boat mooring rope going down the inside of my chest....dissolved it further into what felt like two cattle rustlin ropes, one which went through the center of my heart, another right through the "heart center" along the centerline of the body. I went and did some chi gung with this really old bristle cone pine tree over the weekend and it moved that crap to my sternum, and I've been doing these other practices to dissolve and descend that energy potential.

I also came up with this meditation to do with her to neutralize any sort of bad energetics between us, then seal my energetic space the fk off from her...she isnt into doing this stuff (though she told me for years that she was) but is open to that just for my sake...I just told her she's gotta be sincere and open hearted about it otherwise I dont want to bother.

All torture from my attachments and expectations...regardless of how one would expect his wife to conduct herself, the only thing one has control over is his own actions, everything else must be let go of.

Part of the practices I do is learning how to absorb or redirect energy potentials...so for instance I have sensitive ears and occasionally certain loudnesses of certain frequencies will cause tinnitus, and I discovered a method to focus my awareness at the pineal and use the sword fingers hand, moving it across my face, and boom, tinnitus resonance is stopped. Or same for a sneeze, if I catch it in time, redirect the neural excitation so that the sneeze does not happen. Or if I'm hungry and its going to be a little while before eating, focus on the energy potential of the lower energy center around the culmination of the small intestine, and in some fashion, one can replace a measure of the electrochemical energy you get from digestion with electromagnetic potential from the coherent physical and energetic mechanisms. Stomach rumbling stops, need to eat goes away...how well and for how long depends on my level of practice, in better practice = more efficient.

Redirecting this shit has been a challenge and a half, and it feels like I mostly lose that battle, or perchance I win, it remanifests all too easily and I am back to square 1ish, doing it all over again. Not that it deters me from continuing the battle.

[DemonGeminiX]

Several friends of mine (all divorced) told me to treat a soured relationship like a failed business partnership - be shrewd, emotionally disconnected, and don't let anything she does get under your skin. If you have to deal with her, then speak only when you need to, try to keep it short and impersonal, and when you're done, let it go. Basically, just shrug it off... sometimes deals go south and all you can do is wipe them from the ledger and start over fresh. Take care of yourself.

Welcome back.

[redred]

Bristol?

[deebakes]

some day you'll get your own scale red

[FBD]

Several friends of mine (all divorced) told me to treat a soured relationship like a failed business partnership - be shrewd, emotionally disconnected, and don't let anything she does get under your skin. If you have to deal with her, then speak only when you need to, try to keep it short and impersonal, and when you're done, let it go. Basically, just shrug it off... sometimes deals go south and all you can do is wipe them from the ledger and start over fresh. Take care of yourself.

Welcome back.

Good advice...I try to generally follow that, but it hasnt really stopped the whacked out energetic shit from happening. This morning I felt like I had a knife in my umbilicus when I woke up...where teh fook did that come from? No idea. I've let go of things, but I really did love her deeply...we've split up before, a couple times, but just the manner in which things were done on her end this time around, plus vows...I took vows seriously. I try not to EVER make a promise I cant keep. And that automatically made my willingness to dismiss issues I had with her exponentially more powerful. But apparently she couldnt handle the hormonal changes of having been on the pill for...like 25 years straight, and then going off of it. Off the deep end with her!

I was doing well until last night, my teacher sent me an email about a....ah, rather inauspicious dream he had about me. Were it anyone else on the planet I would have taken it with a grain of salt, but this guy...while he's not "enlightened" in the buddha's sense of the word...one of his teachers proclaimed him to be at least of the "awakened" sort of consciousness...and of course my teacher pounded on the table and vehemently asserted he was not, and even if he were, it would absolutely not be appropriate to say so.

fuckin life, man...I tell ya stranger than strange.

[Muddy]

Was she down with all this Chi Gung you are dominated by?

[FBD]

She told me she was, for like 5+ years...but then would never make time to do anything, claimed to meditate and stuff, and I just laughed at that, because I knew all she did before bed was read until her eyelids were too heavy. A few months ago she finally came out and said she wasnt interested in the stuff at all. While its a big component of my life, it hasnt really dominated it...yet...regardless of my friends calling me chi master cooney and shit It was something I just fit into my day, and the more efficient I got with it, the more I did. At least until life throws some curveball at you and fks up the process. Her wackiness was a big part of my gains getting destroyed easily 4, 5 times over the last 10 years. So in one sense this is good for me, because now I wont have this huge part of my life screwing up other huge parts of my life. Its like trying to arrange coherent energy patterns, which takes a lot of time and effort, and having something else of major importance introduce very significant disharmonies in the process and eventually the process falters. It used to be nice sitting down at night, bathed in light...but its been too long since I have been there, and I have a shit ton of work to do now that is going to require extreme amounts of patience and fortitude to stick through the process.

So while on one hand it seems like a good idea to go chase some other ass...I have more important things to do...

[perrhaps]

Sorry I haven't posted here before. Welcome back, young man!

[Muddy]

Do you have any pictures of her we can see?

[Noilly Pratt]

Sounds like your ex needed to see a Dr. and get treated for her imbalance. I'm not necessarily saying pills.

We must cleanse our minds and lives of those things and people who just drag us down and redirect our lives to where we do not want to be.

People are just like computers. In a normal course of a day, they collect garbage. A good clear-out and switching off is good for them both.

I would not have been able to be a computer technical support person for 15 years, and now other stuff in computers for 7 years without meditating. It's the only way I know to switch off all that non-positive energy collected in every given day.

[FBD]

Do you have any pictures of her we can see?

hm...I am pretty sure I have deleted every single last picture I have of her. And hard copies were burned. Might have a few left on the grage computer, I'll have to check next time I'm there. None of her titties, sorry

Sounds like your ex needed to see a Dr. and get treated for her imbalance. I'm not necessarily saying pills.

We must cleanse our minds and lives of those things and people who just drag us down and redirect our lives to where we do not want to be.

People are just like computers. In a normal course of a day, they collect garbage. A good clear-out and switching off is good for them both.

I would not have been able to be a computer technical support person for 15 years, and now other stuff in computers for 7 years without meditating. It's the only way I know to switch off all that non-positive energy collected in every given day.

Been there, done that, all pills did was kill her sex drive, gave her an almost totally flat affect, and made her even more miserable. She went on those one other time she moved out. She did therapy before also, you'd think considering its her field she would have gotten more out of it. But nope, she just acts like a fickle adolescent every time her hormones go wacky, and this one was the king shit of 'em all. I think I should find out tonight if she's moving out friday. That would be such welcome news.

Good stuff, transforming non positive energy. I've devised some pretty decent energetic practices and understandings from all of this garbage. Always a silver lining, if you want to look for it.