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09-11-2011, 04:17 PM
#151
Shelter Dweller
It's so hot today, I'm sweating like a paedophile at a hannah montana concert.
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09-11-2011, 04:18 PM
#152
Shelter Dweller
I've just put 300 pounds on a horse.
I gave my wife a leg-up.
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09-11-2011, 04:20 PM
#153
Shelter Dweller
In the toilet, I went up next to this other guy at the wide urinal to take a piss and he saw how big my dick was.
Quick erections aren't always a good thing.
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09-11-2011, 04:20 PM
#154
Shelter Dweller
Cant wait for the minute silence at the memorial. It is the only time you get americans to shut the fuck up about what happened.
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09-11-2011, 04:21 PM
#155
Shelter Dweller
I walked out of a club with a girl last night.
She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, "Yours or mine?"
I said, "That's mine."
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09-11-2011, 04:22 PM
#156
Shelter Dweller
I no longer see my wife and kids and it's all because of gambling.
I won shit loads of money and moved to a Pacific Island.
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09-11-2011, 04:23 PM
#157
Shelter Dweller
They say so many people die because of alcohol...
Perhaps they never realised how many of them are born because of it.
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09-11-2011, 04:24 PM
#158
Shelter Dweller
I've been married to my wife ten years today.
Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication.
I don't know how she does it.
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09-30-2011, 11:30 AM
#159
Shelter Dweller
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
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09-30-2011, 11:31 AM
#160
Shelter Dweller
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely ruined our 10th anniversary.
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10-03-2011, 12:41 PM
#161
Shelter Dweller
If my Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal.
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10-03-2011, 12:43 PM
#162
Shelter Dweller
I took my wife out last night,and as I did up her zip,I thought she had never looked better.
Dead in a body bag.
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10-03-2011, 12:44 PM
#163
Shelter Dweller
I've always stood up for black people.
It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat.
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10-03-2011, 12:44 PM
#164
Shelter Dweller
So, Google has turned 13 today.
It's not the first time that a 13 year old has provided me with decent wanking material.
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10-11-2011, 09:14 AM
#165
Shelter Dweller
My dyslexic wife takes it up the earholes.
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