Time to be Offensive.....again!

**The Monk** · 12-21-2012, 05:12 AM

Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel... this is for the Christmas period only!

**redred** · 12-21-2012, 10:46 AM

**The Monk** · 01-05-2013, 10:47 AM

Anal sex is a lot like my first car... I didn't really want it, but my uncle gave it to me anyway.

**The Monk** · 01-05-2013, 10:48 AM

Had a game of golf with the wife at the weekend and ended up shanking my tee shot and driving my ball up the wife's arse. Took her to the doctor's and he said "Fuck me that's up a fairway!"

**The Monk** · 01-05-2013, 10:57 AM

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night. Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

**The Monk** · 01-06-2013, 10:03 AM

**The Monk** · 01-30-2013, 10:18 AM

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night. They were called "Bomb Jovi". They were brilliant. Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down. Then this Muslim bloke started bragging about how he had the entire Koran on DVD. I was interested so I asked him "Can you burn me a copy?" Well that was when the trouble started...

**The Monk** · 01-30-2013, 10:39 AM

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of guys saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!

**The Monk** · 02-01-2013, 11:06 AM

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The old lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. By the way, it just reaches to the back of her sister's throat".

**The Monk** · 02-07-2013, 02:23 AM

My son came home from school all chuffed about gay marriage being legalised.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked. "Have you even got a boyfriend?"

He scrunched up his face dramatically, then replied, "It's the principle."

"Really?" I said. "Well, at least it's not the priest again."

**The Monk** · 02-07-2013, 02:25 AM

The vote to legalise gay marriage was an important symbolic victory for the Conservatives, in the name of equality.

After all, they've already shafted everyone else in Britain up the arse.

**The Monk** · 02-07-2013, 02:30 AM

A lot of countries dislike Americans because they refuse to learn a second language. That's just fucking stupid.

I dislike them for not learning their first one.

**The Monk** · 02-07-2013, 02:31 AM

They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today.

Somebody came in speaking English.

**The Monk** · 02-07-2013, 02:33 AM

What will happen at the first lesbian divorce?

How will both of them get three quarters of everything?

**The Monk** · 02-12-2013, 08:46 AM

Lost my job as a lifeguard yesterday. Apparently refusing a Muslim entry to the pool whilst tapping the "No bombing" sign isn't the appropriate.

Thread: Time to be Offensive.....again!

Thread Tools

Display

The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:

The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:

The Following User Says Thank You to The Monk For This Useful Post:

Posting Permissions