I asked my R.E teacher why Muslims don't eat pork.
"Well, one reason is because they have certain genetic similarities to Humans." he replied.
"I know that," I said, "but what about the pigs?"
I asked my R.E teacher why Muslims don't eat pork.
"Well, one reason is because they have certain genetic similarities to Humans." he replied.
"I know that," I said, "but what about the pigs?"
Did you hear what the Jewish pedophile said to the young boy? Hey sonny, vould you like to buy some candy?
The Monk (01-10-2014)
LONGEST PUBES: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH: Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL: This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.
LONGEST TURD: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2hr 12mins which was officially measured at 12ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds
MOST MAGGOTS MOVED BY THE MOUTH IN ONE HOUR: Charlie Bell, a former steel worker, smashed the world record for "most amount of maggots moved by the mouth in one hour". Bell reportedly carried two square foot of live maggots in one hour from one container to another using only his mouth. The-35-year-old from Leyton, East London, admitted "It was disgusting".
MOST FEET SNIFFED: Madeline Albrecht of Cincinnati, Ohio, knew she was set for greatness when she was hired by the Hill Top Research Laboratories, a testing lab for Dr Scholl's. Her job was to sniff feet and armpits which she did for a smelly 15 years. During her aromatic career, Madeline Albrecht sniffed an estimated 5,600 feet and an unknown amount of armpits.
Last edited by The Monk; 01-10-2014 at 03:32 AM.
I was given some really good financial news today. The little black orphan I was sponsoring in Africa has been eaten by a lion.
Last edited by The Monk; 03-19-2014 at 08:20 AM.
the fuck?Originally Posted by The Monk
He must be very proud bloke..that's quite an achievement!..
Don't the youngsters blow up so quickly these days....
I don't know where else to post this.
someone had to pull it out and measure/proof pic that monster tooHe must be very proud bloke..that's quite an achievement!..
yikes
What's the difference between a cup of gravel and a cup of placenta? You can't gargle the gravel.
We've got stained glass windows in our house. Maybe I should pull the curtains when I'm watching my porn.
I was in a pub in far Western Queensland last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said Give me your number, sexy!! I replied Have you got a pen? She smiled and said Yes. I replied Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing.
RBP (02-28-2014)
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says 'What are you supposed to be?' The man says A premature ejaculation What? says the woman. The man says I've just come in my pants.
Phone rings, woman answers. The pervert, with heavy breathing, says "Have you got a tight unshaven twat?" Woman replies "Yes, he's watching television - who shall I say is calling?"
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I spent $5000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2000 on liposuction for her and she was over the moon. Then I spent $100 on a blow job for myself and she goes bananas. Women... who can understand them!?
RBP (02-28-2014)
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