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Thread: Time to be Offensive.....again!

  1. #31
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Last edited by The Monk; 02-10-2011 at 12:16 PM.

  2. #32
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Had to have a blood transfusion the other day. All they had left was 2 pints of African blood, and 2 pints of Pakistani blood. It's not as bad as it sounds I now have a 12 inch cock, and I'm top of the housing list.

  3. #33
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth." Mr. Jones cries, "My God! What will we do with such a deformed baby?" The doctor says "Use it as a rake?"'

  4. #34
    Basement Dweller Godfather's Avatar
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    These are so awesome.... so wrong, and so awesome

  5. #35
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  6. #36
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  7. #37
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  8. #38
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    You can buy it ???




  9. #39
    Assistant Shelter Dweller St. George's Avatar
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    The other day my wife asked me to give her 12 inches and make her bleed. So I fucked her twice and smacked her in the face..........

    ......which reminds me.

    What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
    Nothing, she's been told twice already.


    What's blue and doesn't fit?
    A dead epileptic


    Why were there no n*****s on board the space shuttle?
    They didn't know it was going to crash

    What were the last words on board the space shuttle?
    Alright then, let her drive.

    This Paki dies and he finds his way up to heaven. St Peter's stood at the pearly gates, looks him up and down and says firmly, "What are you doin' here?". The Paki says, "I'm here for Jesus". St. Peter perks up, looks happier, then shouts, "JESUS, yer taxis here!"

    What's white and transparent?
    A Paki with the shit kicked out of him.


    BTW Monk. 100% concentrated!

  10. #40
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by st. George View Post

    btw monk. 100% concentrated!

    wtf ?

  11. #41
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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  12. #42
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    I walked into the pub toilet earlier, spotted a bloke at the urinals, and made my way to the cubicle.

    Bloke laughed and said, "Embarrassed about your penis, hey, lad?"

    A bit embarrassed, I said; "Of course not!" And made my way over to the urinal next to him.

    What a hypocrite, he sure seemed embarrassed watching me take a shit.

  13. #43
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    My wife has worked as a magician's assistant for years now. I think she has picked up a few tricks.
    I came home from work early today and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate, Dave, came out of the wardrobe, stark naked.
    Poor bastard must have wondered what the fuck was going on.

  14. #44
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    I was lying next to my new girlfriend and I said, "you're different to all the other girls I've slept with."
    She said, "that's because I'm a bloke, you twat."

    That's what I love about Martin... She's got a great sense of humour.

  15. #45
    Shelter Dweller The Monk's Avatar
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    "You can tell a lot about a person by their car."
    For example: if it's in a ditch, it's a woman.

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