Time to be Offensive.....again!

[Godfather]

My little lad asked me what the difference was between a vagina and a cunt.
I said "your mum's upstairs having a lie down. We'll go up later and I'll show you". We went into the room and I peeled back the duvet and pointed at between her legs. "See son that's a vagina". "Oooh" he said, "can we touch it?"
"No you can't you'll wake the cunt up"

Oh man, that's so bad

[Hugh_Janus]

most offensive one I've heard....

who is the most famous jewish cook?





























hitler

[The Monk]

My eldest daughter is named Summer, as she is my ray of sunshine.

My youngest daughter is called Spring, as she gives hope of what is to come.

And my son is called Autumn, as he has Down's Syndrome and keeps falling out of trees.

[The Monk]

My missus looked hot today...

I could see her through the window as our house burnt down.

[The Monk]

My wife has asked me to get her some gloves to wear at her mother's funeral.

Does anyone know where I can buy those giant foam fingers?

[The Monk]

Quite apart from it being horrifically unhygienic not to wash your hands before picking your nose, sweaty fingers make the snot taste salty.

[The Monk]

evEr nitoced how hwrd it is to tpye wiht yuor left hnd whsilt you are wnaking?

[The Monk]

I find it hard to distinguish between muslim women and gay ninjas.

[The Monk]

I was french kissing a girl last night.
Afterwards, I could still feel her tongue in my mouth.
This was probably why she couldn't tell me she had leprosy.

[Griffin]

What did the leper say to the prostitute?




Keep the tip.

[The Monk]

The girlfriend just come to me in a foul mood telling me i was shit in bed last night.
I've never been so insulted!

Oh hang on... I stand corrected.

Apparently I shit IN the bed last night!

Phew.....that's a relief..

[The Monk]

I've just seen an advert saying that four African children die every minute.

It certainly made watching my egg boil more amusing.

[The Monk]

I heard that Justin Bieber has a 10 inch cock.

It's in his ass and belongs to Usher.

[The Monk]

FOR SALE:

1 can of pepper spray (used once)

1 rape alarm, mint condition

womans pink thong, small blood stain on front.

Looking for quick sale, all offers welcome.

[The Monk]

How do you know when a woman is to fat to fuck? You get her panties down to her knees and her cunt is still in them.